Around Thrones the Thunder Rolls
by owlwayssandforever
Summary: Lily Evans thought her life would be normal. Well, as normal as it can be for a muggle-born witch in England. But when her boyfriend turns out to be the prince of the wizarding world, and tensions begin to rise among factions of wizarding society, Lily must find her way in situations she never anticipated, and try not to lose sight of her identity.
1. Announcement

**NEW PROJECT ARRIVING ENTITLED**  
**'AROUND THRONES THE THUNDER ROLLS'**

Whitefire Palace is pleased to announce a new story by author owlwayssandforever. Gen is a close friend of the Royal Family, and as such, is being entrusted with telling the story of two of its most prominent members - Prince James of Scotland and Lily, Princess of Scotland. The story is expected to be released on the 23rd of March, 2019. A summary of the story is provided as follows.

"Lily Evans thought her life would be normal. Well, as normal as it can be for a muggle-born witch in England. But when her boyfriend turns out to be the prince of the wizarding world, and tensions begin to rise among factions of wizarding society, Lily must find her way in situations she never anticipated, and try not to lose sight of her identity."

_W.P. _


	2. Chapter 1

**Hogwarts School Insane Prompt Challenge | House:** _Gryffindor_ **| Prompt:** _407 [AU] Royalty_

_**A/N:** Okay, since this is the official beginning of the story, I'll go over a few points of order now and get them out of the way._

_1\. New chapters will be posted every other Saturday. I know this is a long time between chapters, and hopefully you'll be dying for new ones as soon as you've finished the previous ones. But I've got a lot going on right now writing-wise, and I don't want to put myself in the position of having to delay posting because I haven't had a chance to write one week. So I think every other week will have to work for us, and that's just how it's gonna go._

_2\. The story is pretty fast-paced, mostly because I'm trying to cover a lot of things happening - both fluff and angst and everything in between. I'm pretty happy with it the way it is but idk, just be aware that if you're wanting a slow burn, this is not that._

_3\. Comments and feedback are ALWAYS welcome. Seriously, I love hearing anything from you guys, even if its just one word. Helps me to know that I'm not shouting into the void. Please be respectful with feedback, I don't mind constructive comments, but again, just be nice, respectful, and not hateful. I've never had a problem with this before, but I'm just throwing it out there._

_Okay, that is all my points of order at this moment! I am super excited about this story, I've absolutely loved it since I started working on it, and I'm really excited to share it with all of you. My original plan was to finish writing it before I started posting, but I just couldn't keep it to myself any longer. If you check out the "atttr" tag on my tumblr ( owlways-and-forever) you might get to see some edits and artwork to go along with the story! (Also if you want to make edits/art, please do, I would love that). Okay, that's a lot of notes, so without further ado, I present to you the first chapter!_

_*drumroll*_

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The entire wizarding world knew what Prince James looked like officially. He had always been somewhat tall for his age, thin but athletic as he got older, with sleek black hair and hazel eyes. Official portraits of him used to appear in the newspapers every now and then, especially after a big event. The odd thing was, however, no one knew what he looked like unofficially. There were no pictures of him at school or at a bar or anywhere other than somewhere officially planned, where he always looked prim and proper. No one ever saw the Prince out and about, or at least, no one ever knew they did.

Marlene said that when the Prince was born, the King and Queen had made a push to keep his life quite private, and no one really knew anything about his daily life. They didn't even know who his nanny was. Lily had been quite surprised to find out that there was a wizarding monarchy, but then she found out that things were not so different here than from the Muggle world. The Royal Family was largely ceremonial, while most of the functioning government was run by the Ministry of Magic. Like the Muggle world, there were some who thought the monarchy should be disbanded completely, and others who were completely besotted with the Royal Family. She was the same age as Prince Andrew, but Lily had never been terribly bothered about him, especially since she was not likely to ever meet him.

According to Marlene, a long ago, the Royal families had been one family. Brothers who wanted different things or different magical abilities. No one was really sure, it was too long ago. But the fact was that now they were very distinct, in fact the Windsor-Mountbatten family probably didn't even know that there was a whole other Royal Family in Britain.

Marlene was somewhat obsessed with the Royals, and was determined to find out who Prince James really was. She had a number of maddening theories written down in a journal, the equivalent of a board with red string all over it. There was no selfish agenda behind it, she wasn't one of those crazy girls who was in love with him or dreamed of marrying him; it was just a mystery, and Marlene _loved _a good mystery.

Theory 1: Prince James was homeschooled in the Royal Palace of Whitehall by his mysterious governess. Deemed unlikely on account of needing to socialize with children his own age.

Theory 2: Prince James had been sent to Beauxbatons to be educated. Deemed highly likely owing to English-French treaties and a history of close relations between the two wizarding communities.

Theory 3: Prince James had been sent to one of the other known wizarding schools (probably Ilvermorny) to be educated. Deemed unlikely due to tense relations between wizarding communities.

Theory 4: Prince James had been sent to an unknown wizarding school in one of the Commonwealth states (most likely: Australia). Possible, but not likely.

Theory 5: James Potter was actually Prince James. Deemed highly unlikely for the very obvious reasons.

The last theory had been proposed precisely two days into their first year. The girls were all slipping into their night-dresses and brushing their hair when Marlene burst out of the bathroom, long hair swinging over her shoulder.

"Do you think James Potter is the Prince?" she had blurted out excitedly, hands clutching the railing around their heating stove.

The girls had all giggled at the suggestion, but no one answered. While Lily, Mary and Alice were all Muggle-borns and knew nothing about the Prince, Dorcas simply didn't care. Marlene scrambled across her bed and pulled out a small leather bound notebook from her trunk, opening it to a recent picture of the Prince published on the occasion of the Queen's birthday a few months prior.

"Don't you think they look alike?" Marlene pressed, her eyes wide with excitement.

Lily took the photo from her carefully and looked at the picture of the Prince, waving and smiling with his parents. There was a similarity there for sure, but there were quite a few differences as well. Even though the picture was in black and white, Lily could make out that James had darker skin than the Prince. James glasses and his hair were wild, not sleekly laying down atop his head. And while the Prince had a very proper expression on his face – a smile, but not deep enough to wrinkle his handsome face – James seemed to walk around with a permanent smirk.

That had been when the conversation started, but they had all deemed it impossible, except Marlene who insisted that there was a _slight _possibility. Over their years at Hogwarts, it did come up a few times, mostly as a joke, but it was clear that it could not be him. Lily had even been to his house once, during their Easter holidays, for a surprise birthday party for Remus. It was a nice house, spacious with a large sloping yard, but it was hardly a royal residence. And also, there was the matter of his friends. Sirius was from a noble family – the equivalent of a Muggle dukedom – but he hated it and vocally opposed the entire aristocratic life. So she highly doubted that he would be best friends with a prince. And she was pretty sure that Remus was a werewolf, not that she had shared her suspicions with the other girls, but she doubted that a prince would be allowed to befriend a werewolf. The aristocracy seemed like that. Not to mention, James Potter appeared to be quite a reckless Quidditch player (and person, in general), and presumably the sole heir to the monarchy would not be allowed to continuously put his life in so much danger.

So when Lily Evans agreed to go to the Three Broomsticks with James Potter to have a butterbeer, she had been quite certain that she was _not _going on a date with a prince of any kind.

She said she would meet him there, it seemed too much to walk to Hogsmeade together, but now she was rather regretting her choice, as she sat there waiting for James to show up. Her leg bounced nervously, brown saddle shoes lightly tapping the floor. She checked her watch - it was five minutes to 3. Lily had gotten there insanely early, anticipating that her friends would be chatty on the walk to Hogsmeade, pestering and teasing her endlessly, but everyone had been surprisingly quiet. Marlene and Dorcas almost suspiciously so. So she had arrived at the Three Broomsticks more than ten minutes early, and had to sit by herself, anxiously waiting, while her friends went off to do whatever it was they had planned. Mary she knew was meeting Dirk for the afternoon, but wasn't sure what Marlene and Dorcas would be doing. No doubt something they shouldn't be. Lily hoped they weren't planning on spying on her and James.

"Been waiting long?" James asked, sliding into the seat across from Lily with a charming smile and shaking her from her thoughts of her friends. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"You made it, I was starting to worry you'd changed your mind," Lily answered coyly, the corners of her lips lifting in a smile. She wasn't sure she liked how easily smiles came to her when she was around him. He ought to have to work harder to charm her.

"I'd never change my mind about you, Evans," he said, and she felt color rising on her cheeks.

Rosmerta, the pretty, young barmaid approached them with a grin. Lily guessed she had a soft spot for James, as she paid Lily no attention whatsoever, her brown eyes fixed on him, taking in his muscles as they flexed while he removed the jacket he had on over his t-shirt. They were long and sinewy, lean, but clearly fit. Like he was built for speed.

"Butterbeer okay?" James asked, but Lily didn't hear him. She had somehow conjured up an image of his arms wrapped around her, how good and safe and strong it would feel. "Lils?"

"What?" she said, flushing darker as she tore her eyes away from his muscles and fixed on his hazel gaze.

"Is butterbeer okay?" he repeated, his eyebrows arching somewhere between curiosity and satisfaction.

"Yes, that would be lovely," Lily answered, directing her answer at Rosmerta with a weak smile.

"Everything alright?" James asked, once Rosmerta has sauntered away.

"Yeah, fine," she said. "Just… in my head, that's all."

"What are you thinking?" he pressed, grinning.

"Nothing, nothing," Lily tried to say, waving his question off, definitely _not _making eye contact with him.

"C'mon, Lils, you can tell me anything," he said sincerely, the grin replaced by a moderately more sober smile.

"I... just… you look very good today," she answered at last, blush staining her cheeks again.

"Thank you," he replied, reaching out to take her hand across the table. "You look quite beautiful yourself."

Lily smiled. She had tried to look nice, but beautiful was never really a word she felt applied to her. Pretty, sure, and cute. Maybe even stylish. But beautiful felt like it implied a kind of grace or elegance that she certainly didn't possess. 'Beautiful' was for duchesses who wore elaborate gowns and fine jewelry and had blowouts done every day. Not for girls who just put their wet hair in a plait and never had their makeup right and spent as little as possible on clothes.

"Did you read Maria Melendez' article in the Prophet this morning?" James asked, his thumb moving gently across the back of her hand.

"I didn't, actually," Lily answered, turning to look out the window. She loved Ms. Melendez' writing, and usually tried to follow everything she wrote. She had even been excited for this morning's piece - a scathing assessment of the monarchy's damage to feminism - and had meant to read it, but she had been sidetracked trying to decide what to wear and how to do her hair with Marlene, Dorcas and Mary. (Lily had adamantly stated that she would dress how she usually dressed, and if James didn't like it, he could go fuck a hippogriff. Marlene said she needed to dress sexier, Mary had said she should look pretty, and Dorcas said she should wear one of her political tees so he knew exactly where she stood.) After she had gotten them all off her back and chosen something she felt comfortable in, they had been running late, and Lily had barely had time to wolf down a late breakfast, let alone read the Prophet.

Rosmerta came back and deposited the two butterbeers on their table, casting a sullen look at their intertwined fingers before returning to the bar.

"It was rather well written," he said when she had gone, eyes following Lily's gaze, and she snorted lightly. "What?"

"'Well written' is what people say when they completely disagree with everything in an article but don't want to admit it," Lily replied matter-of-factly.

"That's not true…"

"Do you agree with her?"

"Not as such, no," James admitted, his hand leaving Lily's to run through his hair. Lily knew it was his tic, his way of soothing himself when he was anxious. She'd seen him do it numerous times.

"Why not?"

"How much do you know about the monarchy?" he asked with a small sigh.

"Admittedly not as much as I do about the muggle monarchy," she said. "Most of what I know is what Marlene has told me, or what I actually listened to in Binns' class. But, without having read the article, I would imagine that she has a point. Monarchies are always unfair to women, ignoring them and passing over them not only for opportunities to rule, but also for recognition for the contributions they have been allowed to make."

"There have been quite a few muggle queens," James observed, trying his best to sound off-hand.

"Yes, but they only became queens as a last resort, when there were no male heirs to assume the throne," Lily countered, color rising in her cheeks as she started to feel out a good fight. She loved a good debate.

"Did you know that wizarding queens have equal right to ascend the throne as their male counterparts? Always the eldest child, regardless of sex…" he said, hazel eyes sparkling with defiance.

"I -"

"In fact, the current queen inherited the throne over two younger brothers," he continued. "57% of all wizarding monarchs have been queens, and have served on average longer terms, which means that in the history of the wizarding monarchy, 71% has been spent with a queen sitting on the throne."

"While that may be true, when queens marry, their husbands are given the title of King, not king consort or prince, which puts them above their wives in ranking," Lily argued, but James was ready.

"The Marital Equity Act of 1432," he said, "grants the husbands of queens the rank of _rex honorarium et desponsata_. It means that the title is subject to their marriage. Should the queen divorce him or die prior to him, his title would disappear. In the case of divorce, he is returned to any titles he would have had prior to marriage, but in the case of death he becomes the _princeps patria_ or, if there are no children, the _princeps consiliario_. He has no power over her in any situation, but gets equal weight in any decisions of house."

"How do you know all of this?" Lily asked, impressed with his knowledge.

"I'm rather interested in history," he answered with a shrug. "Have been since I was a kid."

"So you don't think there's a problem with the way women are treated in wizarding society?" Lily asked, turning her focus back to their debate.

"That's not what I said," James replied with a wry smile. "But I don't think the monarchy is the root of the problem. In fact, I think the monarchy does what it can to help improve things as much as possible. And I have hope that the next generation with do better."

"You have a high opinion of the prince then?"

"I… I just try to be optimistic," he said. "I have to believe that he understands that there is more that could be done, for women, for muggle borns, for other beings in the wizarding world."

"James… what's happening with the death eaters… it scares me…" Lily admitted, her green eyes focused on the table, and James reached out again and took her hand.

"Me too, but I can't imagine how it must feel for you," he said softly, his eyes full of tenderness. "But I can promise you that you aren't alone. I am here for you anytime you need support or need to talk, and I will offer you any protection I can give. Though I'm sure you don't need it. But the offer, at least, always stands."

"Thank you."

They spent the rest of their date talking about lighter, mundane things - Sirius' new idea for a prank, Lily's plans for Christmas break, the Quidditch season. Lily teased James about Rosmerta and he made her blush when he poked fun at her fling gone awry with Benjy the previous year. Between them, there was an easy air of people who had been friends for some time, who knew each other inside and out. But at the same time, each time James' fingers brushed her hands, Lily felt like there was electricity in her blood, and she nearly jumped when his hand lightly touched the small of her back when they stood to leave.

"Hey Lily," James said quietly, as they were walking down the street together, meandering past shops."I'd really like to kiss you."

"Are you asking my permission?" she teased, the corners of her mouth twitching upward. James had stopped walking, his hand tugging at hers while he wore a very serious expression, as though her answer would be life or death.

"I won't if you don't want me to," he said.

Lily was so touched by this that she moved abruptly, reaching up to place her hands on his face and pulling his lips to meet hers. It took him a second to respond in his surprise, but then he was leaning into the kiss, one hand splayed out across her back while the other caressed her jaw. He pulled away after a moment, touching his forehead to hers as he breathed her in. She could see the blush tinting his tan cheeks, and the way his eyes were focused on her he seemed to be quite affected. She felt like something had changed as well, like this was one of those moments that changed your whole life, and she butterflies swooped in her stomach at the thought of her and James twenty years down the line.

"Okay then," James said, trying very hard to regain his composure as he stepped back, his fingers finding hers again.

Lily smiled broadly, James echoing her, and just like that they were Hogwarts' newest couple.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N:** _Welcome back and happy Saturday! We have a slightly shorter chapter today, but it's a pretty important one. This is probably the shortest chapter of the story by quite a bit, so you have long chapters to look forward to. I think that's all my notes for today. I sincerely hope you enjoy this chapter, and I look forward to reading your comments!_

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Professor Flitwick had come down with a nasty case of phoenix flu so Charms lessons had been cancelled for the week so that he could spend time recuperating in the hospital wing. Professor McGonagall had offered to cover some of his lessons, but he had insisted on giving his students the time off. They had been working hard, he had said, so it would be a nice treat for them. He had set them some extra reading, and a long essay to be turned in when lessons resumed, but the seventh years still had their Thursday and Friday afternoons free, and that had given them all a rather exhilarated air.

James had approached Lily as soon as they'd gotten the notice, asking if she wanted to spend some time with him, maybe walking around the grounds. He had slipped his hand into hers as he asked, and she felt warm and happy as she accepted his offer. And so, Thursday afternoon, Lily found herself strolling arm in arm with James, laughing lightly at his jokes and enjoying the feel of the autumn sun on her skin. As the light started to fade and the sun dipped behind the trees of the Forbidden Forest, they sat down on a red and white checkered blanket that James conjured. He seemed lost in thought, unusually pensieve, but Lily just leaned back and waited for him to decide whether or not to share the thoughts swirling in his mind.

"Lily, there's something I wanted to talk to you about," James said quietly, his fingers playing with her hair delicately, tracing the sunlight as it danced across the strands. "It's not... I don't usually share... but I trust you and I... I care about you and I want you to know the truth..."

His words captured Lily's attention and she sat up so she could look at him and see his face. He looked tortured, like whatever he was about to tell her was hurting him to say, and the idea of it tugged at her heart a little bit.

"You can tell me," she answered softly, stroking her hand lightly across his chest, and he let out a very small purring noise.

"I know about Marlene's notebook," he sighed, and Lily looked at him quizzically. "She's right, theory #5. Hit the nail on the head with that one."

"What?" she breathed, hardly understanding a word he was saying to her. "What do you mean?"

"I was born James Charlus Linfred, Prince of the Magical Kingdom of Britain. My parents are King Fleamont and Queen Euphemia. One day, hopefully not for a very long time, I will be the king. And I don't want," he winced, scrunching his nose at the words, "I don't think it would be fair for us to continue with this," he waved his hand vaguely between them, "without you knowing all the facts so that you can make an... _informed _decision."

"James," Lily answered, the corners of her mouth turning down in a frown, "I appreciate that but, this is just –"

"Don't say it's nothing, Lils," he practically begged, propping himself up on his elbow so their eyes were level. "You know this is something."

"But we're only sixteen, and we've only gone on a handful of dates, James, it's far too soon –"

"It's _not_. Everyone moves at their own pace, and I just _know_." He seemed agitated, and he began running his hands through his hair feverishly. "I know that it's you and me, Lils, I just do. And it's okay if you don't know it yet, but you will some day, and I need you to know the truth about the man that you're falling in love with before it happens."

"Love?" she balked, a fierce blush rising on her cheeks and across the bare skin on her chest.

"I don't mean..." he sighed, trying to slow his thoughts. "I just meant that if you did fall in love with me, and then you found out, you might feel betrayed, lied to, and I don't want that to happen. I want you to know now, and if you do love me some day, I want you to love me with full knowledge of who I am."

Lily didn't have words to answer that, it was so eloquent and so sincere, and she could tell that it was not a conversation he had ever had with another girl, and that it was one he had agonized over for a while. And she loved the words, loved the sentiment behind them, loved that she meant enough to him for him to share his secret. But she wasn't sure if she loved him yet. Maybe if she was honest with herself, the answer was yes, but the thought scared her. It was too soon to be throwing words like love around. Instead of saying anything, she leaned forward and kissed him, not their usual heated, devouring kiss, but a sweet, tender thing. Her lips moved softly against his, and she tried to convey her undetermined feelings in that action. She thought he understood, because he seemed to relax in her arms, swooning at her touch. They pulled away after a moment, both smiling warmly.

"You can ask me anything, if you want to," James added after a moment.

"Hmm," Lily hummed, lying back in the grass with a light laugh, "has anyone ever told your father that he has a ridiculous name?"

"Once or twice," James chuckled, lying down next to her and reaching for her hand. "I might have even said it myself."

Lily laughed, high and bright, before serious thoughts returned to interrupt it.

"What does this mean for you, for us?" she asked, hesitantly. In all honesty, Lily wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to this particular question. "How does this change things?"

"It means that if we continue to see each other, at some point our relationship will become very public," he answered. "So far I've been given as private a life as I could have led so far, but when I graduate, that changes. I'll have to start fulfilling my obligations, living a more public life. The wizarding world needs to know who I am if I am ever to be accepted as their monarch. If we... if we got married, it would be a spectacle, everyone of importance would be invited. People you don't even know. Our children would be royalty, and I would strive to give them the same level of privacy that I enjoyed, but there's always a risk. One wrong step, Lils, and the world would have known exactly who I was. So much went into protecting who I was so that I could have a normal childhood. It was exhausting at times, for myself and for my parents."

"How did they do it?" Lily asked, suddenly overcome with curiosity. "Keep you hidden in plain sight?"

"The house in Godric's Hollow, the one you visited over the summer, that's where I grew up," he explained. "There's a direct line in the Floo Network from Whitehall in London to Hollow House. I lived in the Hollow with my nanny, Maylis, mostly apart from my parents. They came to see me or I went to see them nearly every day, but I was still apart from them quite a lot. They had business to attend to in London, or were on state visits, and they couldn't exactly be seen coming and going from the same house as me. And on important events, or at least just enough to keep reporters from digging too deep into things, they would truss me up and bring me out to be photographed and shown off. Always careful to make sure I looked different enough not to be immediately recognized."

"I don't think I could do it," Lily said, snuggling closer to James. He seemed upset at the thought of his upbringing, as though he wished it had been different, and Lily could understand why.

"I'm not sure I could either," he answered honestly, "but in truth there's not much choice. It's the only way, as far as I see it, to let me grow up and make friends without people knowing right away who I am. And it's not like they were cold or distant. I always knew they loved me, I always _felt _loved. I just wasn't around them as much as most kids."

"Well, aside from maybe having to rethink the childrearing strategy, I don't think any of that sounds too awful," Lily said with a smile, playing with James' fingers. "It might take some getting used to, but I don't think being in the public eye is a dealbreaker."

"Lils, you don't understand," James said, shaking his head, "there're rules to this way of life."

"So tell me," she answered, taking his concern very seriously.

"There are rules for what you can wear and who you can socialize with, there are rules for everything," he sighed. "You wouldn't be able to have a job – charity work is the most you can do. You wouldn't be able to be political."

Lily sucked in a breath. She hadn't realized that. On some level she should have known. James had always been very careful who he expressed his views in front of, and it was the same way in the Muggle world. It was important that the monarchy remain an impartial component of the government and Lily could understand why. The monarchy would always be the same – same family, probably similar views being handed down. But the government would change constantly, and they still had to be able to work together regardless. It was logical. And yet, Lily had a hard time envisioning a world where she gave up her politics, especially with the turmoil that was spreading through the country.

"War is coming, James, and soon," she answered, looking at the sky, "I can't just ignore that. And it would only get worse if we... People like Voldemort, like Sev's friends, they would only be more infuriated that a Muggle-born was their princess. Do you honestly think they would sit back and let it happen? Do you really think they wouldn't come for me, for us?"

"We would be safe, Lily, I promise I wouldn't let anyone hurt you," he assured her, but Lily only shook her head in agitation.

"It's not just about safety though," she persisted, getting frustrated. "James, do you honestly think that I could just sit back while a lunatic and his followers systematically murder people like me, while they murder our _friends_?"

"No," he said, his voice sounding heavy. "You have no idea how difficult it is, not to be able to do anything."

"There must be exceptions," Lily pressed, determined to find a compromise. "After all, Prince Philip served in the military during World War II, and that was certainly political. It could be like that. Military service against Voldemort."

"I don't know, Lils," he answered, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair again. "I want to believe it's possible, but I can't promise that."

"We'll make it work," she replied, surprising herself by meaning both the issue of politics and their relationship.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She snuggled into him again, and was content to close her eyes and breathe in his scent for a moment.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N:** _Happy Easter/Passover everyone! This is the longest chapter so far, but it will not be the longest! Anyway, got some fun holiday stuff for ya this week, and I hope you all enjoy it! As always, comments are very much appreciated! 3 :)_

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Christmas came quickly at Hogwarts, the temperature dropping and frost coating every leaf and blade of grass each morning. Students faced intense end of term projects and exams in nearly all of their classes, and so the library had become the most populated place in the school each evening. Teachers lit fires in their classrooms to add heat during the day, and everyone walked around, bundled up. The castle was beautiful, but the stone did little to keep out the cold.

Lily found herself adjusting to a new reality of her life. That she, of all people, was dating a prince - _the Prince_, the heir to the throne of the magical United Kingdom - was quite a shock at times. She wasn't typically one to waver in confidence, but at times she felt astonished that a prince would choose her, want her. But then James would inevitably do something stupid and she would think that it wasn't a prince that wanted her, but James Potter, her James. He hardly ever seemed like a prince - chewing on his glasses while he thought, and participating in reckless pranks with Sirius, Remus and Peter. The more time they spent together, the more he became her James, a secret person that no one else knew but her. He radiated heat when they cuddled and yelped when she touched her cold feet to his lava-like skin. He drew doodles on her skin and connected her freckles in patterns and constellations.

As term progressed, Lily spent more and more of her time with James. They walked together between classes, and sat together when they could. At meal times, Lily often sat with James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, but James sat with Lily and Mary and Marlene and Dorcas nearly as often. Sometimes the whole lot of them sat together, and Lily would nudge James sharply whenever she saw Mary eyeing Sirius with a blush on her cheek. They would study together, and relax together in the evenings, and go to Hogsmeade together as often as they were allowed. For quidditch games, Lily would wear James' practice robes (she made sure he always washed them beforehand, after the first time), and paint her face and spray gold streaks in her red hair.

She kept her promise to James, and didn't tell the girls his secret, no matter how much she wanted to. Marlene had added another reason why James likely was the Prince (Marlene overheard Peter teasingly call James 'Your Highness' and seen Sirius curtsey to him), and two more why he likely wasn't ("he's much taller than the Prince, didn't you see the photos in the _Prophet_ over the summer?"; the whole Royal family is supposed to be excellent potioneers, but you know how dreadful James is at Potions). She could imagine how Marlene would react if Lily told her that James Potter was in fact a member of the royal family, slack jawed and throwing pillows at Lily for not saying anything sooner, before peppering her with five hundred questions about James and the royal family, most of which would probably be inappropriate.

As the last days of term flew by, snow began to fall, promising a white Christmas at Hogwarts, and Lily and James tried to steal every last moment they could together. There were three days after the end of classes before students would return home on the train, which Lily and James spent nearly entirely together. During the day they often hung out with their friends, having snowball fights or playing games by the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room. But after dinner, the two of them would sneak off to be alone, wherever they could find space. Sometimes it was a deserted classroom, sometimes a squished broom closet, where every inch of their bodies was pressed together. On the last night before leaving for break, James took her to the Room of Requirement.

It had outfitted itself like a little studio apartment, and Lily didn't realize that it was, in fact, a shifting room until James told her about how they had found it, the things that had happened there. On this occasion, there was a little sitting area, complete with a sofa, armchair, and a crackling fireplace. A small, round dining table stood directly in front of the door, set with candles and a plate of chocolate covered strawberries. To the side stood a large king size bed, covered in plush crimson blankets and pillows that looked like clouds. Lily paled a little when she saw the bed, wondering if James was expecting them to _go all the way_. They'd fooled around, quite a bit, cuddled up in bed often, and even spent the occasional night asleep in each other's arms, but they'd always stopped short of having sex. As if reading Lily's trepidation, the room conjured translucent curtains that dropped from the ceiling, shrouding the bed. If James noticed the change, which he must have, he said nothing about it, just lightly letting go of Lily's hand so he could drop onto the sofa, swinging his legs up and grinning at her.

"Excited to see your family?" James asked, making small talk.

"Yeah," Lily said, still standing a little ways away. "I always miss them, but… Petunia's been a bit more distant this year, so I guess I'm a little nervous too."

"Gonna tell them about me?" he continued, raising an eyebrow at his girlfriend.

"If it comes up," Lily shrugged, which elicited a pout from James. She laughed at his response, which relaxed her a little, and she sat down lightly in his lap. "Well, I'm not going to make a big announcement of it."

James' fingers found the ends of Lily's red hair, rolling strands of it between his fingertips. She hummed happily and he watched the smile spread on her face, content to stay with her like this forever.

"I have something for you," he said abruptly, tugging his wand from his back pocket. "A Christmas present."

"But it's not Christmas yet," Lily protested, suddenly feeling guilty that her present for him was still bag in the girls' dormitory, unwrapped.

"I know, but I wanted to give it to you in person," he answered, flicking his wand in the direction of his bag. A shallow square box floated toward them, wrapped in plaid wrapping paper.

Lily unwrapped the gift delicately, revealing a jewelry box inside, and her heart leapt into her throat. It felt far too early in their relationship for him to be gifting her jewelry. Heart pounding furiously, Lily opened the box, and gasped. Inside, nestled against the blue velvet, was a beautiful ruby pendant. The teardrop-shaped gem was surrounded by a halo of small, crystal clear diamonds, all of which shone like liquid. The magnificent confection hung on the most delicate chain of white gold that Lily had ever seen, and it seemed to ripple and move as she shifted the box. She could tell that it was created and imbued with magic, something deep and ancient and beautiful.

"Do you like it?" James asked tentatively, his hazel eyes wide as he watched her, searching for any sign of her response.

"James, its… it's stunning," she answered, and his face lit up like the sun at her words. She wanted to tell him that it was too much, that she couldn't accept, but he was _so_ happy, and she couldn't bear to take that away from him. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Good, good," he sighed, looking so relieved that his gift had been received well. He took the box from her hands and lifted the necklace out of it, moving to clasp it around her neck. "It looks so beautiful on you, Lily," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple.

For a brief moment, Lily felt like a doll, being dressed up and then congratulated on how pretty she looked, and she wondered if a future with James meant feeling like that forever. But she tamped the feeling down, reminding herself that there were good things about the monarchy, that they had some power and a great deal of influence. It wasn't all fancy dresses and extravagant jewelry. And it really was very nice of James to get her something so beautiful, and so expensive.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, eyeing her with concern.

"I just… I don't know when I'd wear it, it's so…" Lily's fingers found the pendant and brushed against it delicately as she tried to find the right words.

"No, no, it's an every day sort of thing," James insisted, his eyes growing wide, and he took her hands squeezing them. "It's just a little pendant, nothing crazy. I didn't want to get you something that you'd only be able to wear on special occasions."

"Right," Lily said, swallowing her discomfort and forcing a smile. "I just worry that I might lose it, or break the chain or something."

"You won't, it's enchanted," James replied, shaking his head lightly.

Lily smiled weakly at the thought and pulled her hands away, fingers finding the necklace once more. Perhaps in time she would grow more comfortable with it, and she could certainly try, for James' sake. It wasn't his fault that they came from such vastly different economic backgrounds, after all.

They continued talking, about nothing and everything all at once. Stories of Christmases past, the traditions that they looked forward to and even the ones that they hated. They laughed at Sirius, who had tried everything he could to avoid going home for the break. When they both got peckish, Lily summoned the strawberries over to them, and they gorged themselves, until Lily decided to throw them at James and see if he could catch them in his mouth. He failed miserably, and strawberries ended up scattered across the floor, collecting dust as the chocolate softened and melted.

The heat of the fire began to addle their minds as sleep tugged, and their antics became more foolish and drowsy. James stood at last, reaching for Lily's hand and tugging her up to join him. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her tightly against him, and nuzzling her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I rather fancy a kip, don't you?" James teased, leading Lily toward the bed.

He shifted the curtains to the side and Lily saw two sets of pajamas folded neatly at the foot of the bed, and she sighed happily. He wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary for them then. Lily slipped out of her clothes and into the silk pajamas set out for her, enjoying the way they slid over her skin like water. Her fingers lingered on the necklace for a moment, wondering if she should take it off, but she decided against it, letting it hang heavy against her sternum. James pulled his own pajama pants on, but tossed the shirt aside. Lily knew that he usually slept fully clothed, but when he was with her, he preferred to go shirtless. She crawled into bed and he flopped down next to her, running his hand haphazardly through his hair as he yawned. They began to doze off quickly, Lily's hands drifting across James' chest in soothing motions.

"I love you," he whispered, snuggling closer to her, and Lily wondered if he even realized what he had said. He didn't seem to react at all, and not a few moments later he began snoring lightly.

"I love you too, James," she answered once she was sure he was out, pressing a kiss to her sleeping boyfriend's forehead.

Lily said goodbye to James as they boarded the Hogwarts Express back to London. They thought it was important that they each have some time alone with their friends, since they had spent the entire night together. As the other girls nattered away happily, Lily idly fingered the pendant around her neck, feeling the weight of it as she rolled it through her fingertips. It wasn't just the weight of the stone and the setting and the chain that tugged at her, but the weight of the sentiment behind it. More than anything else this necklace, and the words that James had uttered in his sleep the night before, made what they had feel real, and solid, and unchangeable. She wasn't sure if it scared her or made her feel safe - was it possible to be both?

"Look, Lily, we all know you have a super hot, super rich boyfriend to daydream about, but could you at least _try_ to pay attention to our conversation?" Marlene snapped, bringing Lily's focus back to their train compartment.

"Sorry," she said looking at her hands in shame. It was possible that she hadn't been the best friend lately. "What were we talking about?"

"_I _was saying that Mary should just forget about Sirius, because he's definitely gay, but Dorcas disagrees and she thinks Mary should just ask him out, because 'girl power'," Marlene said, annoyance colouring her voice. "And Mary says she can't possibly ask him out because she'd be way too nervous."

Mary blushed a deep pink, and Lily tried to offer her a kind smile. Unfairly, blushing always looked so flattering on Mary, giving her a soft, feminine sort of glow. When Lily blushed, she just looked like some kind of multi-tone tomato.

"Well, I'm not sure if he'd be interested or not, but you could definitely ask him, what's the worst that could happen?" Lily offered, not really sure what advice to give. It had only been a few months, but already she felt so far removed from the world of crushes and trying to figure out if someone liked you back.

"He could say no and everyone could laugh at me!" Mary whispered, almost like she was afraid that speaking the words would make them come true.

"That wouldn't happen -" Lily began to protest, but Marlene scoffed at her.

"Come on, Lily, surely James has given _some _kind of hint about who Sirius might be interested it," she insisted, brown eyes boring into Lily.

"I don't really th -" Lily started, before a memory surfaced. "Hang on, didn't Sirius ask you out?"

Marlene spluttered and Mary looked at her with wide eyes while Dorcas shook her head. Apparently, Marlene hadn't chosen to share that information.

"I don't think he was really interested in dating me," Marlene said quickly, almost pleading with Mary. "He just wanted to get in my pants, and I said no."

"Did you want to say yes?" Mary asked, her voice small.

"No, Mary, I would never do that to you," Marlene replied.

"But did you want to?" Mary repeated.

Marlene was silent, and it was enough for all of them to know the answer to that question. Mary looked like she was about to burst into tears, and she stood up, moving toward the door of the compartment.

"I'm going to go for a walk," she said, opening the door.

"Mary!" they all called, but she shook her head.

"No, it's okay, I'm okay, I just need a minute alone," she said, quieting them before leaving the compartment.

The moment the door was shut behind her, Marlene turned on Lily.

"Why would you say that?" she hissed, eyes flashing.

"I thought you would have told her!" Lily said, trying to defend herself.

"Why would I ever tell her something that would only upset her?" Marlene spat, anger pouring off of her in waves.

"Because we're best friends," Lily argued, her brows furrowing, "and we don't keep things like that from each other. It would've been better for her to hear it from you, because you know she was bound to find out about it eventually."

"Right, like you've told us everything about James," Marlene said, rolling her eyes dramatically.

Lily flushed red, very much aware that Marlene was right. She was hardly one to talk about keeping secrets. She wondered if it ever got easier... probably not.

"That's different," Lily stammered, trying to rationalize things. _It's different because he's the prince. It's different because he lives in hiding. It's different because it's not just from you, it's from everyone._ "I'm in a relationship with him, there are things that are personal, private, between us. But what you kept… it affects Mary, and you should have told her."

Marlene crossed her arms, sulking against the back of her seat. Dorcas shrugged, content to stay out of this little fight, and pulled out a book, skimming through it quickly. Lily looked out the window, leaning her forehead against the cool glass as she toyed with the pendant around her neck. She wished her mind would just stop buzzing for a little while. It wasn't long until Mary returned, finding them all silent and a little sullen, but she had a grin spreading across her face.

"You're chipper," Marlene said, looking a little bit pouty still, not that she really had much right to be upset with Mary.

"I did it," Mary answered in an excited little whisper as she sat down in her seat again.

"Did what?" Dorcas asked, looking up from her book and sliding a marker in place to hold her page.

"I asked him out," Mary said, bouncing in her seat a bit.

"Judging by your enthusiasm, I'm guessing he agreed?" Dorcas asked, and Mary nodded.

"Tell us everything!" Lily squealed happily.

"Well, I was just walking through the corridors," Mary said, gesturing animatedly as she spoke, "just kind of thinking, and I bumped into him, as he was going to find the food trolley. And we were just chatting about school and break and everything, stuff, and I don't know, I just asked if he'd want to go to Hogsmeade with me sometime when we got back from break. And he looked surprised, but happy and he agreed and we said we'd talk a bit over the holidays."

"That's great, Mary!" Lily gushed, leaning over to hug her friend. She wasn't sure if Mary and Sirius were the best match (not least of all because his family was not likely to accept a muggle-born), but for now it made her friend happy, so she was all for it.

The rest of the train ride seemed to fly by, now that their compartment was filled with happier spirits. As they pulled into Kings Cross, Lily really began to feel the excitement at seeing her family again. Somehow she rarely fully realized how much she missed them while she was at school.

Lily bounded off the train and into her family's arms, hugging first her mother, then Petunia, and then her father. He picked up her luggage for her and led them all to the car, Lily and Petunia walking with linked arms. It wasn't until they were seated in the back seat of the little coupe and on their way home that Petunia noticed the glint of red around her sister's neck.

"Where'd you get that?" she asked, poking at the little pendant lightly.

"Oh, um," Lily hesitated, blushing furiously, "my boyfriend gave it to me for Christmas."

Lily swore her father almost drove them off the road, in his surprise. Mr. Evans was usually a fairly calm and collected man, but when it came to his baby girl dating… well, fathers were just never ready for that.

"What boyfriend?" Petunia said, surprise evident in her voice.

"I'm sure I've mentioned James before," Lily said, her face turning even more red. "But we started going out at the beginning of term, and I guess now it's a thing…"

"Must be pretty serious if he's giving you such fancy jewelry," Petunia pressed, raising an eyebrow.

Lily turned scarlet, and she was sure she was glowing brighter than a traffic light at this point.

"I guess," she admitted, wanting to talk about anything but her relationship. "How are things with Michael?"

"Over," Petunia clucked sharply. "He was kind of awful."

Lily giggled a little at that, and her laughter spread to Petunia, until both of them were doubled over laughing, tears welling in their eyes for no reason at all. It was always nice to find, whenever she came home, that some things never changed.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N:** _Happy Saturday everyone! Here's a new (very long) (very eventful) chapter for you guys! As promised, things move quickly in this story, so we're jumping ahead a little bit. Please please please review, reblog, comment, share this story with everyone you know! _

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o . o . o

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It was the middle of February when he announced it – Valentine's Day, to be precise. They had agreed not to do any gifts, and surprisingly, James had stuck to it. A small part of Lily had expected him not to heed their agreement and to buy her something extravagant, but he didn't, and she was glad. They had snuck into the Room of Requirement – James had even skipped Potions to set things up early – and spent the evening cooking a delicious dinner for themselves and lounging on a plush bed.

"I want you to come home with me for the Easter holidays," James blurted out, his fingers drifting over her exposed back, and Lily pushed away from him in surprise.

"But... that's very serious, isn't it?" Lily protested. "Meeting your parents?"

"Yeah, I've never done that before, but I think it's right," he answered. "I'm not messing around here, this is serious for me. I love you, Lils, I mean it. This isn't just a fling for me, it isn't nothing. You're the one that I want by my side, and I mean that personally and professionally. You're the first person I want to tell when something good happens, and the only person I want to comfort me when life sucks. And more importantly, I want to be those things for you too."

"I love you too," was all she was able to say in reply, feeling oddly choked up.

"Then you'll come home with me?" he repeated, taking her hands in his.

"But doesn't that mean people will know?" Lily asked, hesitantly.

"Well, that's up to you, really," he replied soothingly. "I always leave here still as James, and go to Hollow House, so you would come with me there. It shouldn't attract too much attention, all anyone would know is that James Potter has a girlfriend. Then we would Floo to Whitehall, and no one need see you while you were there. You would only attend the Easter service if you wanted to, and you wouldn't attend it with us necessarily. But your family could be invited and you could go with them. It might still raise eyebrows, as you're not exactly a member of the Ministry, but I think it would be alright."

"It would be nice for my family to meet you as well," she mused, considering his proposition. "That way they don't feel blindsided, or like your family is the only one that matters."

"Then we'll invite them to the service and then to Whitehall for the Easter Feast," James said confidently, a smile taking over his face, but a moment later it had melted into the anxious look he'd given her earlier. "There's one other thing."

"Go on, then," she answered, stroking his cheek, trying to reassure him.

"I would like... that is I think that the graduation should be our first public event together," James stated, but it sounded rather more like a question.

"James," Lily sighed, "I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Because, we'll have spent the entirety of our relationship as students, we don't know," she felt flustered, completely unsure of herself and the future, "we don't know if this is even something that will work outside of Hogwarts. Why not give ourselves some privacy to explore that before we let the whole wizarding world in?"

"Lils, after graduation I have to step full time into the role of a prince," he tried to argue.

"I know, but that doesn't mean that we can't still be Lily Evans and James Potter for a little while longer," she argued, but her words only seemed to agitate him further.

"No we can't!" he burst, jumping from the bed and pacing the floor in his boxers, hands running wildly through his hair. "Don't you see, Lily? After graduation, James Potter won't exist anymore! Even if I wanted to keep things private, Lily, I couldn't possibly. I'll be outed, my disguise revealed. Any time you were seen in public with James Potter it would be immediately known that you were with the Prince. There cannot be any Lily Evans and James Potter after graduation, it's only Lily Evans and Prince James or... or nothing at all."

His words brought tears to Lily's eyes, and she found herself unable to look at him. This was not what she expected, and she was not at all sure that it was what she wanted.

"I'm sorry, Lils, I didn't mean to upset you," he pleaded, kneeling on the bed and scooping her hands in his. "But don't you see? It will be less of a story if we don't try to hide it from people. The more open we are, the less interesting it will be, and the sooner everything will just die down and we can focus on being together."

"I need some time to think about it," she said after a moment, still looking out the window.

"Alright, take as long as you like," James replied, pressing a kiss to her temple.

o . o . o

Easter came far more quickly than Lily would have liked, and before she knew it, she found herself sitting in a train compartment with James, going over the arrangements for the break. They would go their separate ways at King's Cross – James to Godric's Hollow and Lily to Cokeworth – for a day, and then Lily would arrive in London on Sunday morning with her family to attend the Easter morning service at St. Edward's Chapel. The Evans family would then be escorted, via private passages, to the Royal Living Quarters where they would have dinner with the Royal Family, and stay at their leisure. When it came time to leave, the Evans family would travel to Godric's Hollow via Floo Network, and then on to Cokeworth from there.

Lily felt completely overwhelmed by how much there was to remember – when to curtsy, whom to address as what, where to go and when. She felt as though one wrong step would ruin everything, and she desperately wanted to make a good impression on the King and Queen. Hearing about how difficult it would be to see James privately on this occasion nearly convinced her that it was worth making their relationship public come graduation, but she still had reservations. She wanted to be completely certain that James was _it_, that he was right for her, before she put herself and her family through the trials of being in the public eye.

Sunday morning arrived, and Lily woke frightfully early to shower and make herself presentable. She curled her hair and did her makeup with painstaking care, finally slipping into her nicest dress, a pale pink crepe number that matched the blush on her cheeks, and a pair of nude heels. She quickly threw the rest of her belongings in a bag – just in case – before heading downstairs to meet her family. Her father looked quite smart in a suit and tie, while her mother looked as elegant as ever in a green skirt and matching blouse. Petunia had also put on her nicest dress, a lavender lace dress that sat more closely to her figure than Lily's.

They piled in the car wordlessly, all far too sleepy still to say much of anything. It was not such a long drive from London that it was unbearable, but it still meant leaving early. They stopped halfway there to fill up on petrol and get coffee, but Lily soon decided that was a mistake, as it only made her feel awake and nervous. Her legs began to shake violently as they approached the outskirts of the city, and Lily was relieved when Petunia took her hand and gave her a small, encouraging smile. They were all nervous, but Lily tried to remind herself that all would be fine.

Finally, their little red car pulled up to the chapel, waiting in a line of cars before it was finally their turn to stop under the veranda and exit. Lily tried to be as graceful as possible, smoothing her skirts as she stood. As was custom, her parents walked in first, arm in arm, and she and Petunia followed. It was safe to say that Lily's family were the only Muggles in the entire chapel, but on this occasion, they did not stick out too much, as all of wizarding high society was wearing their best suits and dresses and robes as well. They took a seat about midway up the aisle that had programs with the name Evans on it, and began to wait for the service to begin. A few rows ahead, Lily could see Narcissa Black, Sirius' cousin and a witch a few years older than her, sitting with what she assumed to be the Malfoy family. She recognized Lucius, Narcissa's fiancé, but the rest were unfamiliar to her. Yet they all shared the same white blond hair and pointed features, as well as a certain posture and air that clearly expressed their importance in wizarding society. A few rows even farther ahead, Lily could see Sirius' curls (forcefully tamed by his mother she suspected) marking his presence with the rest of his family. They ought to have been on par with or behind the Malfoys based on standing, but Sirius' friendship with James had bought them a few rows – it was about the only Sirius had done right in his mother's eyes.

They had been waiting about 20 minutes when the quiet choir music began to swell, and the grand doors at the back of the chapel swung open, bathing the waiting crowd in sunlight. Fleamont and Euphemia entered first, wearing splendid robes. Fleamont wore a deep purple color, embellished with fine gold stars that seemed to wink in the sunlight. Euphemia wore crimson velvet, and across the back were two lions burnt into the velvet, roaring and batting their paws. Both had matching gold crowns on their heads, a circle of intertwined wands and sparks.

James followed behind his parents, and Lily felt her heart squeeze at the sight of him. He looked more regal than she had ever seen him, with his hair combed in smooth waves away from his face, his glasses removed. He wore black military style robes, with a crimson sash and gold shoulder cuffs, and a gold rope draped across his chest. He had four medals pinned to the left side of his robes, and Lily made a mental note to ask him what they were for. He wore no crown, but his fingers were embellished with bright jewels, including the one ring he wore sometimes, when they were alone to themselves. It was a gold number, worn on the ring finger of his right hand, with his coat of arms set in precious stones. Lily had marveled at the intricate detailing of it more than once, and she knew it was one of James' most prized possessions. In his regal attire, Lily thought James looked every inch (and then some) the prince that he was, and she had no trouble believing that the future of wizarding kind was in his hands.

She smoothed the skirt of her dress carefully, suddenly quite nervous. Had he seen her? Was she dressed appropriately? He hadn't acknowledged her at all as he passed, but he had kept his eyes locked forward and not acknowledged anyone, so perhaps she shouldn't read too much into it. Her mind buzzed and she struggled to keep from bouncing her leg with anxious energy. Lily found herself completely unable to focus throughout the service, standing and sitting purely by following the motions of the others around her, and occasionally prompted by the touch of Petunia's hand on hers. Lily's eyes flitted back and forth between James and his parents, watching them carefully and trying to glean any possible information she could. Fleamont, the King, seemed jovial – smiling, with a face full of soft wrinkles, especially around his eyes, and thick greying waves of hair. Lily could see him laugh a few times during the ceremony, once even turning to James to flash him a quick wink. He was shorter, and somewhat stout, all soft curves. For some odd reason, Lily easily imagined him dressed up as Santa Claus, sneaking past a half-sleeping James to deliver presents on Christmas Eve. Queen Euphemia was her husband's opposite in just about every way. She was tall and lean, and Lily imagined her arms were toned under the fabric of her robes. Her skin was darker, and her hair was the color of pitch, without a trace of the grey that had taken over her husband's head. James was the spitting image of her – perhaps slightly fairer, and maybe different eyes, both otherwise you could hardly see Fleamont in his son. She looked stern as well, rather like Professor McGonagall, but Lily thought that might just be her way of putting on a regal appearance, her queenly mask. At least she rather hoped that was the case.

When the ceremony concluded after nearly an hour and a half, Lily silently thanked god. She was more than ready to get out of the church and stop speculating about what was going to happen. It was time to put her best foot forward and find out whether she was doomed to be hated by James' family for the rest of their relationship.

The Royal Family recessed first, in the same order that they had processed. James flashed Lily a quick little smile as he passed, and once he was through the doors, people began scrambling to follow, eager to speak with the King and Queen while they were easily accessible.

"Miss Evans," a voice said quietly, and Lily turned to see a rather unremarkable middle aged man in a suit standing by her. "The door to your right, if you please. One at a time would be best."

Lily looked where he indicated, and saw a door nearly hidden in the wall only a little way back. She began edging her way carefully down through their row to the outer aisle, ushering her family ahead of her. One by one, they slipped carefully through the door (which was not really a door at all, but an enchanted passageway like the barrier to platform 9 ¾. On the other side was an old stone corridor, with stained glass windows high above their heads. An equally unremarkable man (or perhaps he was the same one) awaited them, and bowed to Lily as she passed through the wall.

"Miss Evans," he said, once her entire family had passed through. "This way, please."

They followed him through the passageway for a few hundred meters, occasionally turning off into a different corridor. At last, they reached another "door" like the first, and emerged in the foyer of a grand palace.

"Oh my goodness..." Lily breathed as she walked around, taking in the magnificent paintings on the walls and the spectacular vases.

"This is amazing," Petunia said, from somewhere across the room.

"Wait 'til you see the portrait gallery."

"James!" Lily nearly squealed, rushing to wrap her arms around his neck.

"You look beautiful, Lils," he whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek before turning his attention to her family. "Mr. Evans, Mrs. Evans, it's a pleasure to meet you at last. And Petunia, of course, I've heard so much about you. Lily misses you all quite a lot while we're at school. I do hope you're planning to come for graduation."

"Yes, I believe we are," Mr. Evans replied. "It will be nice to see the place Lily calls home, since I don't think that's Cokeworth anymore."

"Have you always lived in Cokeworth then?" James asked, dutifully keeping up the conversation.

"I grew up there as well, but my wife didn't," Mr. Evans said, smiling as he looked over at his family. "We met by chance in London and I managed to convince her to marry me and move to Cokeworth. But the girls have lived there their entire lives. Well, Petunia has. Lily's spent nearly as much time at Hogwarts now as in Cokeworth I expect."

"Not quite as much, Dad," Lily sighed, rolling her eyes at her father's words.

"It's always difficult when our children leave," Queen Euphemia said, sweeping into the entry hall. "Even a day feels like an eternity without them."

"Your Majesty," Lily said quickly, dropping into a curtsy. She had practiced with James as much as he would allow, although he wasn't the most knowledgeable tutor. He philosophy seemed to be that if you decreased in stature even a little, you'd done just fine.

Her family followed suit, curtsying and bowing to the King and Queen the same as if they'd just met Queen Elizabeth.

"Please, none of that," King Fleamont laughed, waving his hand dismissively. "You're practically family now, and we can't have family standing on ceremony."

"Dad," James groaned, looking absolutely mortified at his father's insinuations, but Lily could only laugh.

"My son will show you some of the highlights of the Palace, as well as your chambers, should you wish to freshen up," the Queen said, returning to business. "Fleamont and I have a rather short meeting to attend do, and then we'll change into more casual attire for dinner."

"By casual attire, she means cocktail dinner attire," James whispered into Lily's ear, and she nodded, making a note to tell her family not to change. As his parents turned to leave, he loudly addressed the entire group. "So, would you prefer to see the gardens, the portrait hall, or the library?"

o . o . o

Dinner passed well enough, with enough food to feed an entire village twice over, and sparkling conversation between the two families. Lily's mother discovered that she and the King shared a fondness for gardening, and her father was happy to talk obscure and ancient books with Queen Euphemia. Petunia was the only person who didn't seem to get along swimmingly with anyone, but being in the company of royalty kept her cordial enough, and she kept to herself her usual remarks about the freakishness of wizards. Lily couldn't keep the smile from her face, beyond pleased at how well their families had meshed together. James couldn't believe the glow that was radiating from her, and if he'd had any doubts about their future together before, seeing Lily incandescent in the palace, with his family, would have wiped those doubts clean away.

"Do you want to stay?" James asked, whispering against Lily's skin as they all left the dining room, heading through to the drawing room. "All of you, if you like."

"I would love to," she answered, leaning into him happily, "but I don't know if they'll want to. I'm not sure they even brought any spare clothes."

"Oh that's alright, we could easily fit some for them," James said, batting that objection aside with a wave of his hand. "My mother has a fantastic dresser, she could alter some clothes very easily. And there are always spare pajamas in case visitors need them."

"You really want them to stay?" Lily asked, scrutinizing his expression.

"I want you to stay," he answered sincerely, "but I don't want to make you choose between spending time with me, or seeing your family. And it wouldn't hurt to get to know them better."

Lily smiled, looping her arm through his, and leaned her head against his shoulder. She could hardly remember ever being so happy.

"I'll ask them, but not right now," Lily said at last, giving James a meaningful look.

"Walk in the gardens?" he asked, taking a step to the side, and lightly guiding Lily.

They ducked through a side door, and James led them through a twisting pathway of ornate halls. He let her arm slip from his, and took her hand instead, pace quickening to a jog. They laughed as they ran, trying to avoid everyone for no reason other than the thrill of it. James pulled her skidding through the portrait gallery, trying to not to knock anything over. He stopped in the middle of the room, sliding a bit on the marble floor, and spun Lily in front of him, floating on the sound of her laughter. She leaned into him as her twirl came to an end, her hands drifting across the planes of his chest. Her laughter dissipated into the air as their eyes met, and intensity wafted through. James ran his fingers through the hair at the nape of her neck, massaging her skin, and softly pulling her closer to him. She sighed happily and leaned in to press a kiss to his lips.

As quickly as they came, James tugged Lily away again, dashing off through the hall abruptly, holding her by the hand as he ran, the taste of her still heady on his lips. They ran until they burst into the cool night air, surrounded by the flowers and hedges that made up the private palace gardens. Lily kicked off her heels as she stepped into the grass, feeling its softness between her toes like the finest of shag carpets. She reached out to James this time, offering her hand to him as they walked through the gardens, a bit more sobered.

They walked quietly through the gardens of the palace, soaking up the moonlight and each other's presence. Lily couldn't help but feel like a princess in his arms, with all his finery and the way he looked at her, like none of it mattered as long as she was there. She thought, for him, she might even be able to get used to wearing heels all the time, though she was perfectly happy to be carrying them at the moment. She felt safe with him, as well as happy, like all the troubles that had reached them at Hogwarts couldn't touch them here in this garden. A war couldn't exist in a place as beautiful as this.

James couldn't get out of his mind how incredibly happy he was, and lucky, that Lily had given him a chance to show her that he wasn't always the person she had seen during their first six years at school. He liked to goof off with Sirius and Remus and Peter, of course he did, but he also cared so much about so many things. The problem was that he'd always be taught to keep his opinions very close to his chest, to never let anyone outside of the family know what he really thought or felt. It was hard to show that you loved things (things that mattered, not just quidditch) when you weren't allowed to take sides. But somehow, blessedly, she had seen that in him, had seen that there might be more to him than he left people believe. And now he got to share this wonderful, crazy world with her, and he could debate politics properly with her, and fume about the war and the stupid way the world worked. And god, she was amazing. James looked over at her, the way her hair had become to come loose from her knot and fell around her face, and the smile she wore better than any dress on the planet. He loved her so much. He wished he could put into the words all the reasons, all the ways that he loved her, but nothing felt like enough. So he just squeezed her hand a little tighter and kept meandering through the gardens.

They reached the lily pond at the center of the rose garden, and James came to a stop, so Lily could admire it. It had been built by magic, a beautiful barbed quatrefoil hedge made from white rose bushes. It stood knee height, magically reinforced, and held back a small pool of water. Beautiful water lilies of all different colors floated on top, like the most beautiful rainbow she had ever seen. It was stunning, and Lily imagined that if she lived in the palace, she would spend every moment of spare time she had sitting by this pond, dreaming and wondering and hoping. A petal fell from one of the lilies, drifting along the water, and Lily watched as it began to fold in on itself, until it looked like a beautiful pink fish. Just as soon as it had finished folding, it began to wriggle, coming to life and swimming around in the pond, leaping up out of the water spectacularly before diving down deeper. Lily bent over to get a closer look, and she could see numerous other petal fish swimming down at the bottom of the pond, darting this was and that, and she gasped in awe at them.

Lily reached for James once more, pulling him close and pressing her lips to his again, breathing him in. He smiled against her, always enjoying the feeling of holding her close to him. There was nothing inappropriate about their kiss, but somehow it was more intimate and private than if they'd had no clothes on. Something about the setting - the garden and the pond and the moon high above their heads - and their feelings made for a deeply personal kiss, the kind of kiss you never forget, the kind you dream about. A fairytale kind of kiss.

They didn't see Jones Holloway, a photographer and friend of the family, strolling through the gardens as well with his camera in hand. He saw them, however, and was quick to snap a few photos of the beautiful nobody in the pink dress who was kissing the future king. He could have sold the photos to the Daily Prophet, Witch Weekly, or some other cheap tabloid (or Rita Skeeter herself), but there was something so pure about the look that they shared, something so tender, that if Jones had ever really had any inclination to sell the photos, one look at the emotions between the two of them would have stopped him dead in his tracks. But that wasn't really his style anyway, that's why the royal family trusted him so much.

He smiled to himself and packed his camera away in his bag, deciding to head home. He'd gotten enough photos for one day. As much as Jones loved having his photographs seen, sometimes he treasured most the moments that only he'd seen, a secret between him and the subjects.

Jones waved a cheerful farewell to the palace guards as he ducked out of the grounds of Whitehall. He walked through the dark street, smiling to himself and enjoying the cool night air. He could have apparated home, but it was such a nice night, perfect for a stroll alone with one's thoughts. He wondered if he'd ever been as in love as the two teenagers he'd seen, but if it was even a question than the answer was probably no.

Back in his little London flat, Jones pulled the film from his camera and began going through the motions of developing his pictures from the day. In theory, he should be focused on getting photos ready to send to the papers - he had only a few short hours to get them what they needed in order to make the print deadline - but in reality, he just eagerly wanted to see the photos of the Prince and his presumed girlfriend. Once the film was developed (far faster than muggle methods), he was able to begin going through the negatives, sitting over his light table with a small magnifying glass. There were some good images, and with a flick of his wand, they floated over to the enlarger, the first settling itself in the carrier, while the others formed a little stack next to it. He shifted his stool over to the enlarger and began going through each picture, enlarging it, focusing it, creating the correct color balances, and exposing it onto paper. He could do this all by magic, but he found that doing it by hand gave him better results, and lended them a more personal feel. When each was done, he sent it floating over to a bath of developing solution. After a minute, he would take it out, and submerge it in a stop bath, before washing it with a fixer. When it was finished, he would wash it of and hang it to dry, running his wand over it with a drying spell until it was ready to be handled. Finally, he clipped the photos down to the way he wanted them, and packaged them up, ready to be sent off to the papers.

Jones made two copies of the pictures of Prince James in the garden. The first, he kept in a drawer of his desk, locked, where he kept all his most precious pictures. The second, he packaged separately from the photos for the papers. He called his owl to take the larger stack of photos to the newspaper, and then return back as soon as he finished, for a second journey. It wasn't far to the Daily Prophet's headquarters, so the owl returned within the hour, clicking its beak to be fed. Jones held out a few treats for it, before fixing the envelope of two photos to its leg.

"This one goes directly to the Prince, okay?" he commanded, grateful now that his owl had been granted permission to pass through the Palace's wards.

With a soft hoot, the owl flew off into the sky, into the soft light just beginning to spread across the horizon. It would be a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky, but Jones drew his curtains and sank onto his bed, ready for some sleep.

o . o . o

Lily woke early in the morning and crept back to her own rooms as silently as possible, trying not to be noticed by the palace staff as much as possible. She dressed in a pair of jeans and a white cable knit sweater, tying her hair half up with a black velvet bow. With a few flicks of her wand, she applied a very small amount of makeup, just enough to smooth out the blemishes on her skin and highlight her eyes a bit more. When she was satisfied that she looked at least somewhat presentable, Lily wandered through the halls of palace, looking for nothing in particular, until she stumbled upon the library.

Sighing happily, Lily walked along the shelves of books, running her fingers over the spines of ancient books. The titles were in an array of languages, both human - French, Greek, Latin - and non-human - Runes, Gobbledegook, Mermish. Some of the books looked as ancient as magic itself, and she wondered idly if spells and charms were preserving them. Most of the tomes were about magic, magical history, or even by magical novelists, but there were a few titles that Lily recognized from the muggle world.

"Miss Evans."

Lily's hand flew from the book she had been reaching for - Jane Austen's _Pride and Prejudice_, signed by Miss Austen herself - and spun around, dropping into a curtsy instinctively when she saw the Queen standing in front of her. She looked as regal as ever, dressed in a more less ornate set of rich purple wizarding robes. Her hair was tied back into a chignon once more, but there was no crown atop her head this time. She stood straight backed, her hands clasped in front of her waist.

"Please, there's no need to curtsy, we're quite alone here," Queen Euphemia said, smiling ever so slightly. Even though James was every inch her son, the smile looked wrong on her face, not like his easy grin at all.

"Apologies your majesty, I had no idea that you would be here," Lily stammered hastily, trying to ascertain whether or not she should leave.

"That's quite alright, Miss Evans, anyone is welcome to the library," the Queen answered, strolling along the shelves.

"Please, call me Lily, ma'am," she offered, trying to create something of a bond between the two of them.

"Lily," the Queen replied, inclining her head politely in recognition of Lily's offer, "I was hoping that we might have some time alone today, to discuss certain matters."

"Oh?" Lily said, completely forgetting her manners as nerves swept over her.

"I believe that you care for my son quite a bit, and that is why I must ask you whether you intend that the two of you should be married one day."

Lily sucked in a breath, disappointment and feelings of inadequacy written on her face as clearly as they passed through her heart. Of course a muggle-born nobody couldn't stand to be the next queen of the magical realm. Queen Euphemia chuckled lightly, deepening Lily's sense of unease.

"You misunderstand me, my dear," she said, reaching out to pat Lily's hand. "I have no objection to you, not in the slightest. But I want to make sure you understand the way things must be. I would strongly discourage you from continuing your relationship with James outside of Hogwarts if you do not think of him as your future husband, for both your sakes. But if you do intend to be his wife someday, you must consider yourself as such from the point of graduation on."

Lily's eyes widened in surprise, but she found herself unable to form any words in reply.

"I don't suggest that you two should become engaged or married soon after, just that you begin to prepare for what life as his partner would mean," the Queen explained. "Begin getting involved in charities, socialize with the nobility, those sorts of things. Allow us to train you for a life in the future. Understand the limitations of this position, and accept those limitations now."

"You mean politics, the war?" Lily asked.

"I know that in his personal life, James cares quite a bit about the war and its outcome, and I assume that you share those inclinations," Euphemia answered, choosing her words carefully. "But as a Prince, James cannot have an opinion, and if you are one day to be a princess, neither can you. And that must start sooner, rather than later. We cannot have the Prophet and other drivel dragging up articles that you wrote after Hogwarts denouncing the government. The monarchy must be neutral."

"I'm not much of a writer," Lily said sarcastically, not really sure what to say. She and James had discussed it, briefly, once before, and she knew it was the reality of the position, but she didn't know how to accept not having a role in this war.

"That's not the point, Miss Evans, and you know that," the Queen chided. "You don't have to answer now, but I ask that you think about what I've said, and make your choice by graduation."

"I don't know what to do," Lily confessed, after a long moment of silence. "I love James, truly, but… I just wish that he weren't the Prince sometimes."

Queen Euphemia smiled understandingly, if not a little sadly.

"If that is how you truly feel," she said, "that is not love. True love means accepting the person for who they are. My son is Prince James as much as he is James Potter, and if you love him, you must love that half of him as well. It is not just a title, Lily, it is a part of him, and if you ever believe that he could be rid of it, then he has been telling you what he thinks you want to hear, not the truth."

The room was quiet as Lily considered the Queen's words, their harsh honesty stinging more than a little. Knowing that she had given Lily quite a lot to think about, Queen Euphemia excused herself and slipped from the library. Lily flopped down into a crimson armchair in the corner, her head falling into her hands. Queen Euphemia was right, if she couldn't accept James as a prince, then she wasn't really accepting him for who he was. The problem was that James didn't feel like a prince to her, not when they were at Hogwarts, not when they were alone. She felt like James Potter, the James that she knew, the James that was _hers_, was the true James, and that Prince James was just a mask that he put on when he was being paraded in front of all of wizarding society.

Lily sat in the library for a long time, considering everything that had been said, not only between her and Queen Euphemia, but between her and James as well. By the time James came looking for her, Lily had nearly convinced herself to end their relationship, feeling that she wasn't able to see the duality in James, but then she saw his face. His stupid, smiling face.

"Morning, love," he said cheerfully, kissing the top of her head before dropping into the armchair adjacent to hers. Lily flashed him a half-hearted smile in response. "So, Jones Holloway, one of the photographers in the press corps that we're particularly fond of, sent these over this morning."

He handed her three photos, all of the two of them together the night before, during their stroll through the gardens. The first was of them walking hand in hand, Lily's heels dangling from her free hand, smiling as she laughed at something James had said. He was grinning from ear to ear, looking at her like she lit up his world. The second was of them, Lily's arms around James' neck, his hands at her waist, looking soppily into each others' eyes. Lily could guess what the last photo was. She flipped to see, and there they were, leaning into a kiss, and she had to look away. It was so intimate, she felt like she was intruding in the moment, even though it had been her moment.

"Are these a threat?" Lily asked, bristling as she looked at the photos in her hand once more. She felt oddly violated by the images.

"What?" James responded, clearly shocked by the question. "Of course not, Jones is a good man, he just thought we might like to have these."

"Really? He thought we might want a constant reminder that we have no privacy, that even when we think we're alone, there's always someone spying on us?" she snapped, tossing the pictures on the end table.

"Lily…" James sighed, confused by her outburst. "They're beautiful photos…"

"They're an invasion of privacy," she said flatly, her tone enough to tell James not to argue with her. "I think I should leave with my family today, spend the rest of the break with them."

"Of course, if that's what you want," James answered, even more confused.

Lily stood and left the library, making her way back to the rooms she had been given, packing up what little belongings she had taken out of her bag. She was resolved to leave as soon as her family was ready to go. The pictures had only increased her conviction to end their relationship, but she thought it would be better to do it away from here, away from prying eyes, when she was back with _her_ James at Hogwarts. So she would say goodbye and take the time to cool off, so she could be sure of her decision. And then, when she was back at Hogwarts, she would break things off. Mary and Marlene and Dorcas would be there to help her through everything.

"Lily please," James interrupted her thoughts, standing in the doorway of her rooms, "I don't know what happened this morning, but please, talk to me, tell me what's going on."

"Not here, not like this," Lily said, brushing away his inquiry.

"Come on, Lils, you can't leave like this," he pushed, taking a cautious step into her room. He could tell she was feeling boxed in, and he didn't want to add to that by invading her space. "You can trust me, you can tell me anything."

"It's just… everything," Lily sighed, not turning to look at him as she paused in folding her clothes. "Just being here makes me realize how different things would be after Hogwarts, how different life would be. You're a different person here, James, and I don't know… I don't know if that person is right for me."

"I'm not a -"

"Yes, you are, and that's okay, that's fine, but I don't know if I love Prince James," Lily said, tears starting to form in her eyes. "I love James Potter so, so much, but I don't know about Prince James."

"And you're not willing to find out?" James asked, taking a step backward. He felt like all the air had just been knocked out of his lungs and his heart was being squeezed painfully.

"I don't think it's possible for me to find out," Lily said. "I think I just have to leap, and I don't think I can do that."

"Why can't we just try?" James pressed, trying to hold onto her.

"Because James! Because there are rules to this way of life, and if I ever want to marry you, I have to start following those rules now," Lily answered, nearly yelling. "I can't start a career because I'd only have to give it up, I can't be involved in the war because you can't take bloody sides, and once I'm involved, it's bloody difficult to walk that back!"

"What if I promise you that I will find a way for you to be involved in the war, for both of us to be involved?" James bargained.

"It's not just about the war!" Lily took a deep breath, trying to calm herself slightly. "What about my family, James? I'd be forcing them into the limelight of a world they're not even a part of, at a time when it could be incredibly dangerous for them. What about my privacy, our privacy? There'd be no more date nights out, no anniversaries at nice restaurants, nothing without the _entire world_ knowing about it. And you want me to risk all that, bet absolutely everything, for a relationship with someone I barely know?"

"I want you to believe me when I tell you that we can find ways to address all of your concerns, we can handle all of it," James pleaded. "But you have to trust me."

"I can't trust you," Lily answered, shaking her head. "You're not you, James. The you that I'm with isn't the you that'll you'll be after we graduate. I don't know that person, so how could I trust them?"

"If that's really what you think, Lily, that I'll be a completely different person, then maybe you should go," James said, turning to leave. He felt completely betrayed, and it felt absolutely horrible.

Lily sagged onto the bed, her heart aching and tears flowing from her eyes. She felt devoid of any energy, and the happiness that she had felt the day before felt like it had been sucked from her.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N:** _Whoohooo, you guys get an early update this week! I'll be traveling tonight and tomorrow, and I don't want to give you a late update, so early it is! This chapter is sort of a continuation of last week's, and I hope you enjoy it._

_As always, please leave feedback, I love to hear it all!_

* * *

o . o . o

* * *

_Lils,_

_Here's the thing. From what you said, you have four major objections to being with me in the long run. 1. You'd have to sacrifice a career. 2. You couldn't be involved in the war. 3. You feel we couldn't have private lives. 4. You feel that I'm a different person as Prince James. I understand why those are all important points for you, and why you feel you would have to make sacrifices to be with me. But I hope you can see that there are ways around those sacrifices, or at least ways of managing them._

_**Career**_

_There's no beating around the push here, you absolutely would have to give up any career you might have in mind. Royalty, at least those in line for the throne, can't have a job because being the monarch (or monarch-in-training) is the job. So yeah, you couldn't be a healer. But you wouldn't be twiddling your thumbs at home all day, you wouldn't be seen as just a broodmare, and you __would_ _be making a difference in the world. I don't believe that the monarchy is just for show. I believe that we have value. Lily, the money and influence we are fortunate enough to have is ours to use as we please. We can benefit charities, help those who are struggling in this world. Beyond that, we get to meet with other state representatives, and we get a chance at diplomacy. There's so much we can do with that, Lily. We can change the world._

_**The War**_

_I don't know if Dumbledore's approached you about the Order of the Phoenix yet. I don't think he's talked to many people, but I know he's planning on trying to recruit the graduating students. But he's been talking to Remus about it for a while (for obvious reasons) and Remus told Sirius, Peter and me. It's a secret army, Lils. We can totally fight, and no one would ever have to know. Or at least, no one outside the Order. But even if that isn't appealing, I'm going to talk to my parents about this. Because this war isn't just politics as usual, it's bigger than that, and I don't think we can, in good conscience, remain neutral. I've been doing research, and even though it hasn't happened in the wizarding world, there are times when muggle monarchs took sides in politics, about big issues like this, when the world is burning and we can't just sit idly by. The Windsor family has even served in the military, sometimes during wars. So there is a precedent in the muggle world, and I think this is a time when we should follow their example. We have to do something - it's our responsibility to do something._

_**Privacy**_

_What I propose is this: when we're not out on royal business, we find a way to live as normal a life as possible. We have Hollow House that we can live in, and treat the Palace as more of an office. With any luck, it'll be a long time before my parents… well, before we take the throne, and our responsibilities as monarchs kick in in full force. When we're old and grey and our children are grown, who knows, it might not be as important to us that we keep the two worlds separate. We can raise our children from Hollow House, give them normal lives. And before you say that's not possible, we'd be recognized as soon as we left the house, remember, there are glamour spells that can help us blend in, as well as spells to make us unmemorable to anyone who sees us. I'm sure I could find a way to apply the spells to the doorway as well, so that it would be charmed to apply them for us anytime we walked out, rather than having to remember all the time. But the point is, there are ways to make it work, so that we can live normal lives, and not have people and the press infringing upon them constantly._

_**Me**_

_This is undoubtedly the hardest point. I don't agree with you that I am, or will be, a different person. But I suspect that nothing I say will really change your mind on this matter. You have to feel it, and have faith in me. Trust that I will still make you laugh with stupid jokes. I'll still wrestle with Sirius and sneak off with the boys to transform on full moons and keep Remus safe. I'll still do dumb things, and I'll still love you with my entire being. I'll always tell you things that I wouldn't tell anyone else, and love the mornings that I wake up next to you (or intertwined with you). You say I'll be different, but the only things that will change will be my living arrangements and my daily activities. Nothing about who I am will ever be any different, not with you. You are the person who allows me to be my true self, both a boy and a prince. _

_Lily, I love you so much, and I want to make this work, and to reassure you that everything will be alright. I am all in when it comes to this. There's no one else that I want to be with, now or anytime in the future. You're it. But now it's time for you to decide whether I am what you want. If you love me, and you want me, I trust that we can find a way to make everything else work for us. But you have to be sure. Take the time you need to think about it, I'm not going anywhere._

_Forever yours (if you want me),_

_James_

Lily folded the letter and tucked it into the pocket of her robes. There was too much in it for her to process during the five minutes that were left of her lunch break, she needed time and space and to be alone somewhere. Mostly Lily just needed to think. Which felt absurd to her, because it felt like over the rest of Easter break, she had done nothing but think. Mostly about how much she already missed James. Lily quickly brushed away the tears that were gathering in the corners of her eyes, sniffing as quietly as possible.

Excusing herself, Lily pushed away from the Gryffindor table, needing to be as far from everyone, especially James, as possible. She could feel his eyes on her, not even intentionally, just because he was drawn to her, as she so often was to him. Even now, part of her wanted to throw herself into his arms and let him hold her and soothe all her worries. But she couldn't do that, not until she knew what she was going to do about them.

She let her feet carry her without thinking about where she was going, and soon found herself in the Potions classroom. Lily walked among the shelves lining the back wall, running her hands over the old volumes sitting there. She pushed open the door of the store cupboard, and took stock of the ingredients that filled it. All the makings of something wonderful and magical, just waiting to be combined just so.

"Miss Evans?"

Lily whipped around, startled by the voice behind her. She had not heart Professor Slughorn come in, but she supposed it meant that lunch was over. She didn't particularly want to go to Transfiguration - she didn't much fancy struggling over material she couldn't quite grasp in front of James of all people. She wished she could stay and brew potions all afternoon, and maybe even brew herself a cure for the headache she was in.

"Is everything quite alright, Miss Evans?" Professor Slughorn asked, taking a seat at his desk and eyeing her with some intensity.

"Yes, Professor," she answered. "I just have rather a lot on my mind today."

"Has it something to do with young Mister Potter?" he asked, raising his eyebrows in intrigue.

"Something, yes," Lily said, unsure of how much to discuss with her professor. She had always been rather close with Professor Slughorn, but even so, she was wary of crossing a line.

"You should know, Miss Evans," he said delicately, trying to gauge how much she knew, "that all professors at Hogwarts are kept apprised of any alternate… identities… of any of the students."

"You know?" Lily asked, and Professor Slughorn let out a relieved sigh.

"Yes, my dear, and I can assure you that anything you might wish to discuss on the topic would be utterly confidential," he replied, waiting patiently to see what she might say.

"It's just… I'm not sure that his other identity is something that I'm okay with," Lily said truthfully.

"It is who he is, Miss Evans," Professor Slughorn answered simply.

"But -"

"Miss Evans, do you know why his parents chose to keep his identity a secret?" he asked her, posing it like a riddle.

"They wanted him to have a normal life," she said, confident in her response.

"No," Professor Slughorn tutted, and Lily felt like a dimwitted child. "No, they did it so that he could have the opportunity the find out who he was without others watching, so that when he is in the spotlight, he can do so with full confidence in himself. He won't waver. The truth is that he will always share a part of his mind, and his heart, with you that he doesn't share with anyone else. And that, my dear, is true of every true partnership, royal or not."

"I suppose," Lily said, thoughtfully, seeing the sense in his words. "But what if that life isn't what I want? There are real sacrifices that I would have to make…"

"Miss Evans, every relationship requires sacrifices of some kind," Professor Slughorn replied, his voice somewhat impatient with her. "If you love him, the sacrifice is worthwhile. And think of what you would gain. A platform! A voice to be heard! Think of all the people you could influence, all the people you could help."

"They're not allowed to have opinions, sir," Lily scoffed, rolling her eyes at the bookshelf.

"They're allowed to have _actions_," he replied, giving Lily a meaningful look.

She thought about his words for a long moment, weighing the pros and cons, but it gave her no clarity. Her mind was as muddled as it had been before, and she still had no idea what to do. She felt like she was at war with herself.

"Your heart knows the right answer, Miss Evans," Professor Slughorn advised her, sneaking a box of crystalized pineapple from his desk and extracting a slice. "Don't make the mistake of ignoring it."

With that, Lily assumed that she was dismissed, and she ducked out of the Potions classroom with a quick "Thank you, sir." As she walked down the corridor, a small slip of parchment sped past her through the air, and she blinked in surprise. Another flitted past, before coming to a stop in front of her, and Lily reached out to take it. She unfolded the parchment and gazed at the writing scrawled across it, smiling to herself.

_Miss Evans has been excused from class. Please allow her to spend this period in the library under my authority._

_Professor H. Slughorn._

Lily made her way to the library, handing it over to Madam Pince as soon as she stepped through the door. The librarian squinted at Lily and examined the note suspiciously, but eventually nodded her assent, and Lily found a seat in a quiet corner. There were very few other students there, since hardly anyone had a free period right after lunch, and Lily found it was an excellent spot to stew over her feelings.

She couldn't deny that when she tried to stop listening to her mind whirring, her heart seemed pretty clear about what it wanted, and that was James. If she gave her heart a voice, every rational argument she could make had the same reply - _but it's James_. She trusted him implicitly, and she knew in that moment that she would always take a chance on him. Because really, would any of the other stuff matter if he wasn't by her side?

The clock ticked on and Lily bounded out of her seat, needing to see James, to talk to him, now that her mind was made up. She sped through the halls until she reached the Charms classroom, skidding to a stop outside the door. Lily glanced at her watch - class should be getting out any minute. She took a deep breath and fixed her hair, pulling the end of her ponytail from where it had stuck to her lips.

The door opened and seventh-year students spilled out, looking tired and overwhelmed, and Lily guessed that they had started their last topic for N.E.W.T.s. She tapped her feet, waiting for James to appear, and when he did, she felt her heart stop. Without thinking, Lily launched herself into his arms, pressing her lips hard against his. She felt him smiling into their kiss, an added reassurement that he would always be the same James for her. He pulled away, examining her, trying to read her mind through her eyes.

"So…?" he asked, his voice endearingly hopeful.

"So, you're stuck with me," Lily informed him, her grasp on him tightening slightly.

"No more doubts?" he said, still a little hesitant.

"Some doubts," she confessed, not wanting to keep secrets from him. "But complete faith in you… in us."

James grinned, happier than Lily had ever seen him, and he kissed her again and again, before Sirius smacked him on the back and told them to get a room. They couldn't keep the smiles off their faces as they walked, hand in hand, to their next class. Nothing could keep them apart, not now, not anymore.


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N:** _This might be a shorter chapter, but the good news is that I've decided to add a few chapters, so we're looking at something in the 20ish range ultimately. This chapter is closing in on the end of school, and a lot of things are starting to feel different._  
_Thank you so much for reading this story, and please leave feedback and share it with your friends!_

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o . o . o

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They were summoned to the Great Hall for dinner, a notice posted in every common room and the library, an announcement made in each class during the last period of the day. They were all to proceed directly to the Great Hall. It was unusual, normally they were free to come and go as it suited them, and sometimes they could take dinner, albeit a simpler fare, in the common room or elsewhere if they were busy. It was only on special occasions that dinner in the Great Hall was compulsory, feast days and the like, and they always knew about those in advance. Never, in their 7 years at Hogwarts, had they been called to dinner like this. It meant the air was full of mystery as dinnertime approached, but the moment the students of Hogwarts stepped into the Great Hall, it became abundantly clear that they were not being summoned for good news.

Black banners hung high in the air, fluttering gently on currents of air. The teachers all stood in front of the long staff table, all of them robed in deep black. A sombre mood hung in the air, thick and heavy and hot enough to choke them all. Lily reached for James' hand as they moved farther into the Great Hall, dread growing in her stomach. The entire student body moved in silence, taking their seats as quickly as possible. When everyone was seated, Dumbledore finally stepped forward.

"It is with great sorrow that I must tell you all of the passing of one of our own students," he began, his voice deep and booming, filling the Great Hall. "David Abraham Gudgeon, known to most of you as Davey, did not return from the Hogsmeade trip yesterday. It is believed that Davey used the opportunity to return home to see his family, fearing for their safety. After searching for him, Davey's body was found in his family's home, along with the bodies of his mother, father, and younger sister."

A gasp shuddered through the room at Dumbledore's words. The older students knew more about the war that was brewing outside of Hogwarts, they knew that it had come dangerously close to them, stealing away family members and pitting students against each other, but this was the first time it had reached inside the walls of Hogwarts, snatching a student away.

"As many of you will know, Davey was a seventh year Hufflepuff, and I have no doubt his classmates will miss him very much," Dumbledore continued after a pause. "He was kind, and loyal, a gifted Charms student and an advocate for others who were less fortunate. He demonstrated all the virtues of a true Hufflepuff, and for that he will be remembered."

The students and the professors all bowed their heads in silence, remembering Davey. Lily had known him best through prefect duties, bonding over the muggle things they missed from back home. He had helped her study for her Charms O.W.L, when she had been nervous about it, and she had often joked that he should take over the position of Charms teacher when Flitwick retired. He had promised to help her study for her N.E.W.T.s again this year, but they hadn't gotten to it yet. She felt an immense sadness wash over her at the thought of missing out on that friendship.

"There has been talk going around," Dumbledore began again after a respectful amount of time had passed, "for some months now, about the war that is coming. You have heard frightening things, felt the tension growing in the castle. There have been clashes between students in these very halls. We strive to protect you here, as best we can, but this has always been a school based on inclusivity, and that has meant that students from all backgrounds have been welcome here. I urge you all to think about what side you will fight for, because there is one thing to be sure of - there is no staying neutral in this war. I will not… I cannot tell you who to side with. I can only hope that if each of you examines your conscience, you will make the right decision. Remember Davey Gudgeon when you make your choice, remember all who have been taken already in this war, all those yet to come, and choose wisely."

He strode around the staff table and took his seat in the ornate gold chair reserved for the headmaster, steepling his fingers and watching the crowd of students carefully as the rest of the professors took their seats at the table. Food began to appear on the tables, but no one felt very hungry. The Great Hall was quiet, silent, as everyone sat, pushing food around idly.

Dumbledore was the first to excuse himself, sweeping through a side door, closely followed by the four heads of the houses. Students began filing out soon after, returning to their common rooms to grieve privately - the library and quidditch pitch would be silent tonight.

Lily wrapped her arm around James' waist as they walked back to Gryffindor Tower. Ahead of them, Sirius and Remus were whispering together, leaning into each other for support, while Dorcas had reached out to Peter. Marlene and Mary had stayed behind to talk to some of their Hufflepuff friends for a little while.

"It's awful," Lily whispered as the six of them stepped into the common room.

"It was only a matter of time before it was someone we knew," Remus replied heavily, almost resigned to what was happening in the world around them. He seemed tired, weary, as if the war was taking a physical toll on him and slowly draining him of life.

"I want to fight!" Sirius swore. He slammed his fist onto a tabletop, making the others jump in surprise.

"We all do," Lily agreed.

"I wish there was something we could do, right now," James said, changing the topic slightly. He hated discussing joining the fight, since he knew it wasn't an option for him.

"Like what?" Sirius spat. "What could we possibly do that would be helpful?"

They were all quiet, knowing that the answer was likely nothing. There was nothing they could do, not until they graduated when they could become soldiers in this fight.

"Emotional wellbeing is important too," Dorcas whispered, her eyes fixed on the flickering flames in the fireplace like she read something in them.

The words hung in the air, penetrating their minds and taking root there. Sirius scoffed and turned away, pacing across the red persian rug. But the rest of them exchanged glances trying to read each other's thoughts across the empty spaces.

"What if we planned some kind of service?" James suggested after a long moment. "A memorial or something?"

"How would that help anyone?" Sirius snapped. He turned to look at his best friend and for a brief moment regret flickered across his face.

"It would give us a chance to grieve," James answered sullenly, as if he had lost all confidence in his words and his idea.

"And it would be a show of support, a public declaration that we're all against these tyrannical monsters," Lily added, nudging James encouragingly with her shoulder.

"I could talk to Dumbledore about it," James offered, "and get permission to put something together, if you guys would be willing to help me."

"Of course," Dorcas agreed, and the others all nodded their agreement.

o . o . o

"Mr. Potter, please stay behind," Professor McGonagall called as the seventh year Gryffindors all began to pack up their things.

James nodded to Sirius and Remus when they offered him an inquisitive look, and they followed Peter through the door. Lily squeezed his hand quickly before ducking out with the rest of the class, and eventually they were all gone, leaving James alone with his Head of House.

"Come with me to the Headmaster's office," she said at last, sweeping towards the door.

"Have I done something wrong?" he asked, suddenly nervous. He'd be much better about following the rules lately. Graduation was looming and he was acutely aware that once it arrived, all the details of his school life would likely become public knowledge. He didn't want to let his family down with stories of how unruly it was.

"Not by my standards," Professor McGonagall cryptically, her lips pursed as though something were thoroughly annoying her.

James didn't ask what she meant, and they walked the rest of the way in a tense silence.

King Fleamont stood by the fireplace in Dumbledore's office, his back to the door, and he did not turn around as James entered the room. James knew that his father was aware of his presence, and he waited for something to be said. As the seconds ticked by, James felt his stomach turning to lead, twisting into heavier and heavier knots.

"Am I to understand that you are organizing a memorial service for a boy by the name of Davey Gudgeon?" the King said at last, his voice icy.

"Yes, Papa," James answered, trying to brace himself for what was coming.

He watched as his father took a deep breath before exploding. He slammed his fist against the mantle of the fireplace, and several delicate, spindly looking instruments shook in Dumbledore's bookcase.

"YOU KNOW BETTER, JAMES!" he bellowed, whirling on his son. "THAT BOY DIED IN THE WAR, WE CANNOT TAKE SIDES!"

"PAPA, WE MUST TAKE SIDES!" James yelled in return, stepping farther into the room. "How can we possibly stay neutral? This isn't just politics, Papa, people are _dying_!"

"It makes no difference, James, if we want to keep our position, we cannot be involved," King Fleamont argued, shaking his head. Anger and frustration were rolling off him in waves.

"Oh sod our position!" James shouted, tossing his hands in the air. "This war is a moral battle, we must do what is right, Papa, we must!"

"And would you feel the same if people you care about were not implicated?" the King hissed, stepping close enough to James that he could feel heat radiating off his robes from his time standing near the fire.

"Lily? You think I only care because Lily is muggleborn?" James scoffed, laughing harshly at his father's words. "You must not know me at all. I will not stand by and ignore what is being done. Our people are being persecuted, Papa, and you are letting it happen. You are just as a responsible as the monsters casting the spells."

"How dare you," his father seethed, and for the first time in his life, James thought his father might strike him, but he schooled his features, straightening his spine and staring his son down. "When you are king, you can do as you like, and tear the monarchy to pieces. But for now, you are a prince, and you will do as you are told. Am I clear?"

"I will publicly remain as neutral as I have always done," James spat, "but I will not give up this memorial. Davey was a friend, and he should not have died, not the way he did. I will plan this memorial and I will attend it. This is the business of James Potter, not the Prince, and believe me, I relish my last few weeks as him."

"Do you not understand, James? Everything you have done as James will become the Prince's actions the second you graduate from Hogwarts," the King replied harshly. "There are not two separate people, just the one, and you must realize that, the sooner the better."

"I am aware, Papa," James said, "but it will not change my mind."

The King turned looking as though he were listening to another voice, and James had no doubt that his mother was whispering in his ear. The two of them had numerous methods of communicating with each other discreetly, which James barely understood. After a moment, he turned his attention back to his son.

"I must go now," he said, his tone making no secret of his displeasure. "Do not think this conversation is over. You may be sure that your mother has much to say on this topic as well."

"Good, I can't wait to have this little chat again," James replied snidely.

With a final huff, the King stepped into the fireplace, green flames erupting around him and whisking him away back to the Palace.

James stomped out of the Headmaster's office without another word and marched through the halls in a blind rage. How could his parents be so infuriatingly stuck in the past? How could they not see that this was different? His feet took him toward the Black Lake of their own accord, and he was not at all surprised to see Lily sitting beneath his favourite beech tree when he got there.

"I figured that whatever was going on, you'd need to talk afterward," she explained, closing her Potions textbook as James sat down next to her. "What happened?"

"My father," James answered, closing his eyes and clenching his jaw to try to regain some modicum of composure. "He wants me to stop with the memorial, to disassociate myself from it."

"He thinks it's too political," Lily clarified, and James nodded in acknowledgement. She sighed deeply and reached out to take his hand, running her fingers soothingly across his skin. "We knew this would be a fight, James, to have some involvement in what's going on. It was never going to be easy. But you have to be the kind of prince, the kind of _king_, that you want to be. You have to be the kind your heart tells you to be."

"I know," James sighed, relaxing into her touch. "I guess, on some level I thought that once things got bad enough, my parents would understand. I thought they would see that we couldn't stay out of this. But my father… he accused me of only caring about the situation because you're muggle born."

"Oh James, I'm so sorry," she consoled, continuing her fingers' ministrations. "I know that you're not in it because of me. I know that you care for all the right reasons, and that's exactly what's going to make you a great king. You know this is wrong, not because I'm in danger but because it just is."

"I wish they knew that too," James said, his eyes drifting across the surface of the lake.

"You can't make them do what's right," Lily replied, squeezing his hand until he looked at her. "All you can do is make sure that you're doing everything you can, and hope that they come on board eventually."

"I guess so," he conceded.

"So did they give you permission to do the memorial?" she asked hesitantly.

"Not exactly," James explained. "But I said I wouldn't back down, and he said he had to go, so… I'm still gonna do it."

"Okay," Lily said with a smile, and standing with her hand held out for him. "Ready to get back to work then?"

"Lily, I…" he paused for a second. "I don't know if I can do it?"

"What?" she asked, sinking back to the ground and looking at him intently.

"Have this public image of neutrality and only fight in secret," James answered. "How do I pretend to the world that I don't hate these people with every fiber of my being? If I don't actively disavow them, doesn't it kind of seem like we condone their actions? Doesn't it add fuel to the fire?"

"Yes," she agreed solemnly.

"What do I do?" he asked, his eyes wide and desperate.

"The only thing you can do," Lily said, reaching out to push back a particularly unruly lock of his hair.

"What's that?" James pressed.

"The right thing."


	8. Chapter 7

**_A/N: Okay, so first of all, sorry for missing an update and then being late for this weekend's. Life has been a little crazy and a touch stressful lately. I got a promotion at work, and even though its awesome, its been a little stressful trying to adjust to my new position, and my schedule has been thrown off. I'm still going to try to stick to every other weekend, but it may or may not happen - my sister's baby shower is in a few weeks and then it won't be long until her due date, so life is going to be pretty crazy for a while. But I'll do my best!_**

**_This is a very long chapter though, so at least you're rewarded for all your patience! It was a lot of fun writing this, and trying to envision how Hogwarts graduation might work. Full disclosure - I do not know any latin, so everything here is Google translated/from a source describing Cambridge Uni's graduations. You'll see a few names in the graduation that you might not recognize - I borrowed some of my OCs from my other Marauder's era work, just a couple that I love with all my heart and felt compelled to bring along. Plus, you know, I had to bulk up the numbers somehow - it wouldn't really be realistic to have only 8 graduates, now would it? I hope you enjoy this chapter! And a friendly reminder that you can follow whitefirepalace on Instagram for some edits that follow along with the story!_**

**_Enjoy and feel free to leave a comment! :D_**

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o . o . o

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"Oh my god, will you just do as I say?" Lily hissed exasperatedly out in the hall, and James had to stifle a laugh.

Moments later Marlene was shoved unceremoniously through the doorway of the classroom, tripping a bit over her feet before steadying herself and looking around. Dorcas and Mary entered a bit more normally behind her, with Lily following after all of them and closing the door.

"What the hell is going on?" Marlene swore, glaring at James and Lily.

"There's something that I want you to know, that I want you to hear from me," James began nervously. Somehow, sharing his secret never got any easier. Lily laced their fingers together and he could feel warmth and reassurance flowing from her.

"Are you dying or something?" Marlene asked with narrowed eyes. "Oh my god, did you knock Lily up?"

"No!" he answered hurriedly, completely caught off guard by the suggestion. "No, I… I've been at school under a pseudonym, and at graduation they'll be calling me forward as James Eideard Aneirin, Prince of Scotland. There's more titles and technically it should be HRH, but I've got Dumbledore to stick to that. It's a tiny bit less pompous I think."

"Are you genuinely telling us that _you're _Prince James?" Marlene scoffed, while Mary and Dorcas shared surprised looks behind her back.

"Yep," James said, pulling out the signet ring he kept hidden on a chain under his clothes and tossing it to her. "Family heirloom that, so be careful."

Marlene turned the little ring over in her fingers, examining every small detail with wide eyes. When she was satisfied, she handed it back to him, her mouth gaping in shock.

"Who else knows?" Mary asked quietly.

"Well, Lily obviously," he replied, fingers nervously playing with his glasses. "Sirius, Remus and Peter. And all the staff. But after graduation, everyone will know, so you don't have to keep the secret."

"You knew this whole time!" Marlene hissed, swatting at Lily.

Lily simply shrugged. Of course she knew, and of course she'd kept his secret. That's what partners did, after all.

"Aren't you worried that people will tell stories to the press about what a horrible, scandalous party animal you are and stuff?" Dorcas asked.

"A bit, but to be honest, I think the people who actually know any juicy stories won't say anything," James answered after a moment. "I'm pretty careful about the company I keep."

"I suppose we should feel honoured then," Marlene quipped, with just a touch too much bite in it.

"I'm sorry if you feel like I've betrayed you by not telling you sooner," he said, the picture of contrition. "I just… I always wanted to be myself, to be normal."

"It's alright, James, we understand," Mary answered for the group. "Thank you for telling us."

James nodded and turned to Lily.

"I'll leave you guys be for a bit," he whispered, so only she could hear. "If there's anything you need, or if they have any questions…"

Lily smiled and pushed a lock of his hair away from his forehead.

"We'll be fine, go find the boys."

James ducked out of the room, leaving the four girls alone. It was silent for a few moments as Lily waited to see what her friends would say.

"How could you not tell us?" Marlene burst out at last.

"He asked me not to," Lily said, knowing full well that it would not be a popular answer.

"And apparently he matters more than we do," Marlene spat.

It was an unfair statement. In the beginning, of course her friends had mattered more. James had just been a boyfriend and they were her best friends. But along the way he had become so much more - her partner, her future. He wasn't more important than her friends, but they weren't more important than him anymore either. They both mattered to her immensely. They were equal.

"It's his life, Marlene," Lily replied, trying to push down the sting of Marlene's words.

"Oh, it's not like any of us hate the royal family and would've tried to off him if we knew," Marlene huffed, starting to pace back and forth.

"I think she meant that it wasn't hers to tell," Mary offered helpfully, but it only made Marlene spin on her.

"And you're not mad at Sirius for not telling you?" she asked harshly.

"No, but we're also… we're not James and Lily, Whatever we are will be done after graduation, or at least by the end of the summer," Mary admitted.

"Why would you say that?" Lily asked, partly in concern for her friend, but partly trying to seize any change in the conversation.

"It's been fun, but it just could never go anywhere," Mary shrugged, though she seemed to be putting on a good face. She had never been the most forthcoming about her feelings. "His family and they're… station… he could never be with a muggle-born. And besides everyone knows that Sirius and Remus are in love with each other and they just don't know it."

Dorcas wrapped an arm around Mary, and Lily reached out for her, but Mary just shook her head.

"No, it's fine, really. If they ever figure it out, they'll be happy together," Mary pressed. "I'll find somebody more suited for me once we're away from school, I'm sure."

"There'll be so many more people," Lily agreed.

The room grew quiet again, no one really sure what to say.

"So I guess you're going to be a princess then," Marlene said, a bit begrudgingly. Lily smiled. She knew it, sooner or later, Marlene's fascination with the royal family would overpower whatever else she felt.

"Yeah," she answered, smiling more broadly. "Not imminently or anything, but someday."

"So you don't want James to propose yet?" Dorcas asked, her tone a little bit doubtful.

"I'm not sure I feel any which way about it," Lily shrugged. "I don't know that I want to be someone's wife yet, but I'm also pretty positive about him, so I don't really feel like I _need_ to wait. I guess whenever he asks, I'll say yes."

"So is graduation the first time you'll meet his family?" Marlene asked, her anger dissipating with every question.

"No, I went to the Palace during the Easter holidays." Lily began telling her friends all about seeing James as the Prince during official duties and seeing the Palace and her talk with the Queen and her freakout afterward. They listened with rapt attention, and Lily realized just how good it felt to let out this big secret.

o . o . o

James sighed as he set aside his glasses, dipping his fingers into the tub of smoothing solution and applying it generously to his hair until it lay cooperatively, looking perfectly coiffed. Over the years he'd gotten quite good at styling his hair for these appearances, always going for a signature sweepback with a clean side part. A real Christopher Reeve-Superman look. It was how Prince James was supposed to look - neat and tidy and perfect. It never felt like who he was at Hogwarts though, where he had been free to be simply James Potter.

But all that was ending. James Potter didn't exist anymore. Today, he would step out into the Great Hall and James Potter would vanish into thin air, his privacy and his personal identity gone. It was time to assume his public face and his duties as the heir to the throne.

For all that James had told Lily that he wouldn't change after graduation, how could he not? Sure, fundamentally he might be the same… he'd stil like the same foods and yell at Quidditch players more than he ought to during matches and he'd always love Lily. But at the same time, he would have different responsibilities and pressures every day. Instead of homework and Prefect duties it would be patronages and state visits. Diplomacy and politics and staying out of all of it while still leading the country through it. And on top of all of it, there was the war. Who would he become to deal with all of that? He didn't know, and it terrified him.

"C'mon Your Highness," Sirius mocked, tying his own bowtie. "You don't want to be late for your own graduation. What on earth would people think then?"

"Maybe that I'm bloody human," James snapped, snatching his black robe off his bed.

"Grumpy today, are we?" Sirius pushed, swatting James' hands aside and straightening his bowtie for him.

"I just hate that everything has to change now," James huffed. "I hate putting you all through this, and Lily. All of you are going to be under so much scrutiny now."

"Well, lucky thing your friend is devilishly handsome then," Sirius laughed, shrugging off James' concerns like it was water rolling down his back.

"We all knew what we were getting into," Remus interrupted, stepping out of the bathroom. "If any of this bothered us, we could've walked away a long time ago. We're with you, we don't mind."

"Remus, especially for you… people will find out eventually…" James groaned, dragging his hands across his face.

"It's okay, it was never going to stay secret outside of Hogwarts anyway," Remus shrugged, the worry in his eyes the only betrayal of the true weight of his feelings. "It's a lot more conspicuous when you don't have eight teachers covering for you every month."

"Remus is right," Peter said quietly. "We all chose to stand by your side. You aren't forcing any of us into anything."

James nodded reluctantly, trying to resist the urge to run his hands through his hair even as his fingers twitched.

"Let's go, or we really will be late," Remus said.

The four boys nodded together and grabbed their robes, setting off through the Common Room and leaving Gryffindor Tower for the last time. They walked through the quiet halls, stopping at the Transfiguration classroom, where all the graduating Gryffindors were gathered. Professor McGonagall sat at her desk, pointedly ignoring the chattering students, not caring what they did as they waited as long as they weren't disruptive.

It wasn't unusual for everyone to look the same, since they had, after all, all worn the same uniform every day. But for some reason it seemed more odd today. The boys all had black pants and white shirts, with red bowties and thin red cummerbunds under their black graduation robes. The girls looked similar in black skirts with red waistbands and white dress shirts. They all held hoods in their hand that had different colored linings indicating their primary course of study. Lily's was green, for Healing, James' was purple for Law. Sirius had a red hood for Defense, while Remus had a blue hood for Academia and Peter had orange for Governance. James looked at the rainbow around the room, picking out the rest of his friends. Marlene wore red like Sirius, Dorcas had orange, and Mary had a double striped hood - white for Arts and green for Healing. She was one of only two students who had been allowed to do a double course.

Lily smiled at James when she saw him, and the four boys went over to join their friends. James reached out for Lily's hand, lacing his fingers together with hers and squeezing tightly. He knew she must be as anxious as he was for the day. But she only smiled and chatted happily with their friends, hiding her nerves well.

Marlene did a double-take as James joined them, her eyes scanning over his face critically.

"It really is you," she said, and James tried to shrug nonchalantly in response.

The minutes ticked by agonizingly slowly until finally Professor McGonagall stood from her desk, and the room immediately fell silent, fifteen pairs of eyes focused on her.

"Please line up alphabetically by last name," she said, fixing them all with a stern look. "I trust you don't need my assistance with that."

There was a brief pause before they all scurried into motion, hurrying to find their spots. It didn't take them long to get in order, especially with Professor McGonagall watching them with a stern expression. But she seemed to soften as they waited to leave.

"Before we join the other houses and make our way to the Great Hall for the ceremony, I want to tell you all what a pleasure it has been to have you in my house." She seemed to get emotional, her eyes glistening slightly. "You are an exceptional group of young men and women, and I look forward to seeing the many wonderful things that you will accomplish in the years to come."

"I _knew_ you liked us!" Sirius shouted triumphantly, and the rest of the Gryffindors burst into peals of laughter.

"And despite a lovely seven years together, I greet your departure with joy - especially you, Mr. Black - and wish you the best of luck moving forward," she replied, but the smile playing at the corner of her lips was enough to tell them all that she was teasing them. Perhaps she wouldn't go so far as to say that she would miss them, but there was not a student in the bunch that did not fill her with a warm sense of affection and pride. They had come a long way. "Right, time to move. Follow me."

With that, she swept from the room, the line of Gryffindors following behind her. Professor Flitwick was leading the line of Ravenclaws through the halls as well, and they all shared excited and nervous smiles with each other. Professor Sprout and Professor Slughorn arrived at the Entrance Hall with the lines of graduating Hufflepuffs and Slytherins at the same time, and they all stepped into their formation.

Music trumpeted through the Great Hall as the oak doors swung open, and a whirlpool of excitement and anticipation bubbled in James' stomach as they all marched through together. The tables had been removed, replaced with rows upon rows of wooden chairs, each occupied by a family member. Four rows had been left empty at the front for the graduating students, and they all filed in stoically. An opera box had been added to the right, set back into the wall so that it was cleverly concealed from those sitting further back. The King and Queen sat there, looking as regal as ever in their crimson and gold robes. James wondered how such a box had even been made, but he supposed the answer was simply 'magic'.

The music seamlessly transitioned into a fanfare, and the entire crowd stood, a hundred voices joining in a chorus of God Save the Queen. When it finished, everyone resumed their seats, and Dumbledore stepped forward to initiate the ceremony.

"It is with great joy that I am able to open this graduation. These students have completed a very challenging array of coursework, and many of them have done so while pursuing a myriad of wonderful extracurricular activities. We are all very proud of the feat that they have accomplished, and feel that each deserves immense recognition."

Black silk banners streamed out from the tops of the windows, darkening the room.

"We must first take a moment to remember and acknowledge Davey Gudgeon, who would have been graduating today if he had not departed this world prematurely. His loss has been felt severely by many of our students, and he will always be remembered as the truly exceptional student that he was."

Professor Dumbledore bowed his head, and everyone in the Great Hall echoed his movement. The room was silent as those that knew Davey reflected on his friendship. After a minute, Dumbledore raised his head again, and the banners covering the window rolled themselves up and then vanished with a _snap_.

"Now, for a more celebratory mood!" His voice had taken on a much more jovial tune, the smile reappearing on his face.

Professor McGonagall stepped forward, conjuring a scroll and unspooling it as she began to read in a booming voice.

"Dignissima domina, Archididascalum et tota Academia praesento vobis haec viros quam scio tam moribus quam doctrina esse idoneum ad gradum assequendum Academia; idque tibi fide mea praesto totique Academiae."

All of the students who had followed the academic course stood, their blue hoods blended together like a bright summer sky.

"I formally request that the following men and women be awarded a degree in Academia," Professor McGonagall said, in English this time, the formality of her demeanor never wavering for a second. She read through each student's name and, and one at a time they stepped forward to become graduates.

"Remus John Lupin," she announced, and James straightened up, watching as his friend moved forward and knelt before the Headmaster, his head bowed reverently.

"Auctoritate mihi commissa admitto te ad gradum Academia, in nomine Ministerium, Hogwarts, et Godric Gryffindor," Dumbledore said, as his hands closed around Remus'.

Remus arose and turned around with a grin spreading from ear to ear as he returned to his seat. Once all the students from the Academic course had their degrees conferred upon them, Professor McGonagall began again.

"Dignissima domina, Archididascalum et tota Academia praesento vobis haec viros quam scio tam moribus quam doctrina esse idoneum ad gradum assequendum Artium; idque tibi fide mea praesto totique Academiae. I formally request that the following men and women be awarded a degree in Arts."

There were only three students who stood, wearing the white hoods, the contrast against their black robes looking rather like an old-timey photograph.

"Benjamin Daniel Fenwick," Professor McGonagall called, and Benjy stepped forward, kneeling in front of Professor Dumbledore to be granted his degree in the name of the Ministry, Hogwarts, and Godric Gryffindor.

"Mary Charlotte MacDonald," McGonagall called next, and Mary floated forward, smiling sweetly.

As Mary knelt, she listened to Dumbledore's words like they were breathing new life into her, as if they could transform her in some tangible way, rather than just being stuffy words dictated by a centuries-old ceremony.

"Sybill Cassandra Trelawney," was called forward next, nearly knocking Mary over in her haste to make her way to the dais.

She blinked her large, buglike eyes at Professor Dumbledore and clung to his hands as he recited the words, "...in nomine Ministerium, Hogwarts, et Rowena Ravenclaw."

"Dignissima domina, Archididascalum et tota Academia praesento vobis haec viros quam scio tam moribus quam doctrina esse idoneum ad gradum assequendum Curatio," Professor McGonagall began again, calling forth the second largest course, "idque tibi fide mea praesto totique Academiae. I formally request that the following men and women be awarded a degree in Healing. Lily Jane Evans."

James felt pride swell within him as he watched Lily move forward and kneel before Dumbledore. She bowed her head and locks of red hair fell forward over her shoulder, obscuring her face, but it didn't matter. James knew that her expression was solemn and her eyes were probably closed as Dumbledore clasped her hands and recited the words.

"Auctoritate mihi commissa admitto te ad gradum Curatio, in nomine Ministerium, Hogwarts, et Godric Gryffindor."

Lily stood, beaming, looking as proud as James felt of her. She had worked so hard, especially during the past year, and had excelled in all her courses. He felt a pang of regret that her degree would be for nought soon enough, forced to sit and collect dust when she became the diplomat and cultural representative that the Royal Family required. If she agreed, that was.

Mary was called forth again, as solemn the second time as she had been the first. Alice Elizabeth Matthews was next, the petite Hufflepuff nearly bouncing as she approached the Headmaster. Fabian Alphaeus Prewett followed her, and then Severus Tobias Snape. James had to resist the urge to hiss audibly as his nemesis stepped forward to receive his degree, but he reminded himself that no matter how much he despised the greasy bastard, Lily would not tolerate any hijinks from him. But it was a good thing that his wand was in his trunk anyway. Emma Grace Vanity was the last to step forward from the Healing course, ending what felt like a very long slew of students after the brevity of the previous two groups.

They were halfway through, and James could feel all kinds of emotions bubbling inside of him. He was excited for his turn to come, and nervous about what it would mean. He was bored by the ceremonial nature of all of this and impatient to get through it all, and yet he felt a thrill and a surge of pride every time one of his friends was officially declared a graduate.

"Dignissima domina, Archididascalum et tota Academia praesento vobis haec viros quam scio tam moribus quam doctrina esse idoneum ad gradum assequendum Jurisdictio; idque tibi fide mea praesto totique Academiae," Professor McGonagall recited.

James stood along with the rest of the students in his course. He vaguely wondered if he was shaking from all the nervous energy coursing through his veins.

"I formally request that the following men and women be awarded a degree in Law."

And so it began.

"Amelia Margaret Edith Bones," Professor McGonagall called, once the entire group had vacated their seats and stepped into the aisle along the outer wall.

And then, in no time at all, there were no students standing in front of him.

"James Eideard Aneirin, Prince of Scotland," Professor McGonagall called out in her commanding voice.

The Great Hall suddenly felt so silent that a pin could drop and simultaneously buzzing with shocked whispers. He felt paralyzed, unable to move forward, or move anywhere, move any part of his body at all. _I told you so!_ he heard someone exclaim, and he felt his heart pound in his chest, beating against his ribcage like a captive phoenix trying to break free. Somewhere in his mind, James could hear the photographer hired for the graduation go crazy, the shutter clicking at warp speed. She probably saw what an opportunity she had - she would be the only photographer anywhere to have pictures of the Prince's graduation. James felt his breathing quicken, sucking in shallow breaths, and he wondered if he was having a panic attack. It had happened in the blink of an eye, his whole world had shifted, and he felt like he had lost his footing. How was he not more prepared for this?

James' eyes found Lily, sitting amongst the other Gryffindor students, and he tried to block out everything else, everything but her. Her green eyes focused on him, and she gave him an encouraging smile. It was all he needed. James stepped forward, walking across the empty space to the foot of the dais, where the Headmaster waited with a small smile. James knelt before him, extending his hands in a praying formation, and Dumbledore wrapped his own hands around them. James maintained eye contact, staring back into Professor Dumbledore's icy blue gaze as he recited the words that were meant to change his life.

"Auctoritate mihi commissa admitto te ad gradum Curatio, in nomine Ministerium, Hogwarts, et Godric Gryffindor."

Dumbledore gave him a small nod, and James stood, returning to his seat with his head held high. He had done it, finished school, earned his degree. There had been days that he doubted that he would make it, when his grades suffered from either his own shenanigans or forced absences due to his duties that set him behind. But he had the words resounding in his mind, combined with Professor Dumbledore's proud expression, to remind him of his accomplishment.

He failed to pay attention to the rest of the students in his course, entirely in his own world as Emmeline Laurel Vance, Adrian Lee Wells, and Corban Aleris Fenton Yaxley were called forward to receive their degrees. It didn't bother him too much though, he wasn't particularly close to any of them. He liked Adrian and Emmeline well enough, and he was jealous that they would both be enrolling in the Auror training program. But the idea of _Corban Yaxley_ getting a degree in _Law_, when he was hell-bent on seeing Voldemort take control of the entire wizarding world… it would be laughable if it weren't so disgusting.

"Dignissima domina, Archididascalum et tota Academia praesento…"

The words sounded like a far off echo to James, and he had little interest in forcing his mind to return to the ceremony. The world of his thoughts was far more interesting.

"I formally request that the following men and women be awarded a degree in Governance."

Those words finally brought James back to attention, his focus drifting slowly back to the events around him as he recognized that two of his friends were about to step forward. He waited impatiently as Reginald Alexander Cattermole and Mafalda Arias Hopkirk stepped forward first. Then Professor McGonagall called Dorcas Diane Meadowes forward and James straightened up a little bit to watch more closely. He could practically hear Lily grinning from ear to ear, and he knew she was applauding a little more enthusiastically as Dorcas returned to her seat, newly declared a graduate. Caius Lycaon Tryphonus Nott was next, and James had to try very hard not to heckle him as he received his degree.

"Peter Ian Pettigrew," Professor McGonagall, and James felt like bursting with excitement. Of all his friends, Peter seemed to understand his academic reservations the most. Remus had always been scholarly, and very gifted, and he enjoyed studying and schoolwork more than anyone James had ever met before. Sirius was the opposite, lazy and laidback when it game to academics, and yet he was so naturally gifted that he didn't need to put in any work to do respectably well. James and Peter had struggled a bit more, finding a kinship in their trials and tribulations.

"Auctoritate mihi commissa admitto te ad gradum Magisterium," Professor Dumbledore announced, a particularly pleased smile on his face, "in nomine Ministerium, Hogwarts, et Godric Gryffindor."

Peter stood, pride emanating from him like a radiant glow, and James led the entire crowd in a round of applause that would have made anyone think Peter had just been elected to be the Minister.

"Dignissima domina, Archididascalum et tota Academia," Professor McGonagall began again, announcing the final course, "praesento vobis haec viros quam scio tam moribus quam doctrina esse idoneum ad gradum assequendum Praesidium; idque tibi fide mea praesto totique Academiae. I formally request that the following men and women be awarded a degree in Defense."

The largest block of students stood, a group that radiated pride and determination. Every one of these students knew they were about to head into a war, not all of them on the same side, and they stood like soldiers ready for battle.

Bertram Conrad Aubrey was the first to step forward. Large, with thick, banded muscles, Bertram looked every bit a soldier, and he seemed imbued with a certainty that James wished he possessed.

"Sirius Orion Phinneas Black," Professor McGonagall called, and James struggled to keep from wolf whistling. He was proud of Sirius too, he was proud of all his friends.

After having his degree conferred, Sirius turned back toward the waiting guests and flashed the most self-assured and charming smile that had ever been seen. It was no wonder half the girls in Hogwarts were in love with him. For good measure, he looked toward Marlene where she was waiting her turn and gave her a salacious wink that was not missed by anybody.

Antonin Aleksi Dolohov was next, and once more James had to suppress the hiss that rose inside him. It was well known that Dolohov had only gone with the Defense course because he felt that knowing all about defense made for the best offense.

Frank Christopher James Longbottom was called forward next, redeeming the program a bit. Frank was everything Dolohov was not. A pinnacle of light and goodness and honor. He came from an old family, not quite in the highest social class, but still James had known Frank since they were young. It made him happy to see Frank defending the people, he was real hero caliber.

After Frank, Professor McGonagall called forward Marlene Pilar McKinnon, and this time James could tell Lily was straining not to whoop with joy. The only word that James could ever think to describe Marlene was bad-ass, and graduation was no exception. She had brought her own flair to the dress code with black heels that were studded with tiny silver spikes and a set matching spiked earrings. Confidence wafted from her in waves as she strode up to the dais and knelt to receive her degree. When the conferral had been completed, she strutted back to her seat with purpose, ponytail swinging as she flashed Sirius a sinful smile.

Gideon Matteus Prewett was announced next, another credit to the program and to Gryffindor, and James looked forward to seeing the leader he was sure to become. Evan Mark Rosier stepped forward next, another Dolohov, and James rolled his eyes. The ceremony finished with Clara Jane Williams, who was a relatively positive note to end on. She gave Remus as shy smile as she returned to her seat, and James wondered - not for the first time - if there was more between them than they let on.

"It gives me great pleasure to present to all the family and friends here today the newest graduates of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" Professor Dumbledore declared, and shouts of joy erupted from students and guests alike. "Please join us for a reception out on the grounds of the castle before your departure. And may I offer a friendly reminder that the Hogwarts Express will depart from Hogsmeade Station promptly at 6pm for all those who wish to take it. Otherwise, allow me to remind you that apparition, Floo powder, and departure by broomstick are all prohibited until you are off castle grounds. Thank you very much, and congratulations to all of our graduates and their supporters!"

The graduates filed out of the Great Hall first, not in any kind of procession, but more of a semi-organized press of people. As each of them walked through the ornate doors of the castle to the sloping lawn, a curled diploma appeared in their hands, tied with a ribbon in the colour of their course and bound with the wax seal of their house. James stared at his in amazement as Sirius and Peter chattered excitedly, enjoying the tangible evidence of his accomplishment. Lily slipped her hand into James', startling him slightly, but he smiled when he saw her standing next to him.

"Congratulations, Miss Evans," Queen Euphemia said, approaching the young couple. "We're very proud of both of you."

"Thanks, Mum," James beamed, exchanging gleeful looks with Lily.

"I suppose you've made your choice then?" the Queen said to Lily, while King Fleamont gave them a curious look, completely oblivious to the conversation that had happened months earlier.

"Yeah, I have," Lily answered, snuggling closer to James and looking up at him with such adoration.

If James and Lily heard the sound of snapping camera shutters following through the reception, they showed no sign of it. They were far too engrossed in the joy and excitement of the day. Not to mention, it was their very last day all together with their friends. Before long, they would be moving in different directions, pursuing a variety of careers and initiatives in all different places. They were all acutely aware that there was no guarantee that they would all be together like this again any time soon.

After the reception, students and families began to say their goodbyes, departing for the Hogwarts Express. James and Lily stayed the longest with their families, enjoying the relative privacy as twilight fell on the castle. It was less awkward having their families together here, in this somewhat neutral setting. Even though they were still decked out in their finery, they seemed less imposing away from the ornate halls of Whitefire Palace. And perhaps things always got easier between families as time progressed. Whatever the reason, Lily and James were both pleased to see their families melding together so well.

o . o . o

Lily was sharing a shitty flat in London with Mary, Alice, and Fabian. They were all starting the training course at St. Mungo's, which only paid a very small stipend, and sharing a small apartment had been the only thing they could do. Lily knew that doing the course was a bit pointless, since she'd have to give it up when she married James, but she couldn't very well just sit around and wait for a proposal.

They had a week to set up their flat and celebrate their graduation before they had to start their course. Lily took the first three days to visit with her family. She had missed them so much, realized, and she wished she could've gotten the whole summer to spend with them. But at least London was much closer to home, and she could apparate there in a pinch if she wanted to.

Her parents surprised her by announcing that they were getting a new couch for the sitting room, and gifting her the old one for her apartment. James insisted on getting her a proper bed ("Hey, I've got to sleep on this thing too!") despite her protestations. Alice's parents were a bit more upper class, and she was an only child, she they'd been happy to get a few things for them - mostly kitchenware, but a dining table and a little tv as well. Everything else they'd gotten second-hand as cheap as they could find, with the result being that their apartment looked like the most hideously mismatched collection of 50s decor imaginable. But it was home, at least none of them cared if some butterbeer spilled on the sofa.

Sirius came over for dinner one evening, and by the end of the night, he and Mary had gone their separate ways, just as she'd predicted. Mary didn't seem all that cut up about it, and Lily wondered if it didn't have something to do with Fabian. He'd become very snuggly with her, always seeking contact with his toes or his shoulder or his forehead whenever they sat down to watch the little tv. Not to mention he'd developed a habit of "forgetting" his clothes in his bedroom whenever he took a shower. Lily privately thought that it wouldn't be too long before those two were sharing one room.

James was living in the Palace, his schedule jam packed with events and outings and meetings. He wanted the Royal Family to be more active, and to play a bigger part in the governing of the country, the way it had centuries before. People responded well to him, and he was a natural at all of it. Sometimes Lily thought it was a shame that he couldn't get involved in politics, because he was a great diplomat. Most weekends, he stayed with her in the little flat, as long as he didn't have an event in the morning, but occasionally she went to the Palace. The almost never went out though, since that inevitably ended up with them being photographed.

All in all, life after graduation seemed pretty good. They were all busy, and Lily felt exhausted all the time, but it was in a good way, and she felt as though she'd accomplished something at the end of every day. And yet there was a constant feeling that just as they began to settle into this new life, everything would change.


	9. Chapter 8

A/N: Hello friends! Happy September, and I hope you're all cozied up on the Hogwarts Express with some chocolate frogs and good company. Or failing that, I hope you're snuggled up on the couch watching a Harry Potter marathon (like me). I know it's been a while since I've posted, if you've followed me for a while, you know I'm not very good at sticking to a posting schedule. But I have a new chapter now and I'm excited to keep working on this story! So without further ado, here's the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy it!

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o . o . o

* * *

About a week after graduation, Lily, Mary, Alice and Fabian received four identical scrolls of parchment from a brown barn owl. They were held together with loops of white ribbon, and Lily could sense some kind of magic running through it, probably to prevent anyone but the addressee from opening the letter. Lily slipped her finger under the ribbon and snapped it off, unfurling the loop of parchment.

_Miss Evans,_

_I would like to invite you to join an organization that I am developing in order to fight Voldemort and his followers. At the moment, its existence is covert, so silence on the matter is paramount. If you are interested, please attend an explanatory meeting on Tuesday night at 9pm at the address below._

_12 Victoria Rd_

_Southend-on-Sea_

_I hope to see you there._

_Albus Dumbledore_

Lily let out a long breath. This was what she'd been waiting for - some way to fight against what was happening. Obviously her roommates had all received an invitation, but Lily wondered who else was a part of the squad. Mostly, she wondered if James would have gotten a similar scroll. Surely Dumbledore would know all about the constraints that his position placed on him, and yet Lily knew without a doubt that James _wanted _to fight, and he would be one hell of an ally.

A knock sounded on Lily's bedroom door, and she looked up to find Mary peering through a small gap.

"Come on in," Lily invited, and Mary smiled as she pushed the door fully open and crossed the room to join Lily on the bed.

"So did you get one of these letters too?" Mary asked, though she could see the parchment unfurled across Lily's duvet.

"Yeah."

"Are you gonna do it?" Mary inquired.

"I think so," Lily said, her brows furrowing slightly as she considered the question. "I don't think I can just stand by and do nothing in all of this. I need to be useful."

Mary said nothing, her blue eyes fixed on an arbitrary spot on the wall.

"What are you going to do?" Lily asked.

"I don't know," Mary admitted, worrying her lower lip as she tried to avoid meeting Lily's eyes.

"It's okay if you're scared," Lily assured her, leaning forward and resting one hand on her friend's knee. "And I promise that no one will think any less of you if you decide not to do this. But you should know that you won't be any safer because of it. You'll still be muggleborn, Mary, just like me, and they'll still hate us."

"I know," Mary said, nodding slightly. "But it's not just me, is it? If I stay out of it, they might hate me, they might come after me, but my family will be fine, especially if I keep my distance from them. I'm not important, I'm not visible, they would have no reason to try to hurt them to get to me. But if I fight… if they went after my family… Colin has his first girlfriend, and Iain is only eight. And little Isabel has only barely started school. They should all have lives ahead of them, and I can't put them in danger!"

Mary seemed more agitated than Lily had ever seen her, and admittedly she found it somewhat difficult to identify with her feelings. Of course she had family too, but Petunia was older than her and capable of taking care of herself and her parents… well, her parents would want her to fight at any cost.

"I… I'm sorry, Mary, I didn't realize this was so difficult for you," Lily said, a little more bitingly than she intended. "But I'm sure you'll make the right decision in the end."

"You mean you're sure I'll choose to join up and fight in the end," Mary snapped, standing up and pushing away from the bed.

"No!" Lily gasped. "No, that's not what I meant at all. I just meant that I'm sure you'll figure out what the right thing for you is." Lily struggled for a moment with her own feelings, trying to set them aside to understand her friend better. "I think… I think you should reflect on what you need to do the most, and what you'll regret most down the road. There are so many what-ifs, Mary… what if you fight and your family gets hurt, what if you don't fight and they get hurt anyway, what if you don't fight and we lose the war… you have to think about it all, Mary, and decide what path you can live with, what path won't make you hate yourself ten years from now. And whatever decision you make, I promise we'll all be okay with it. I… I can't promise that it'll be easy for us, but we'll still love you."

"I don't really know what to do," Mary sighed, sitting back down on the bed and flopping back onto the comforter with a deep sigh.

"I know, but you'll figure it out," Lily said assuredly, laying back next to her friend.

"Thanks."

They lay together, lost in their own thoughts, for a little while, before Mary sat up and smiled softly.

"I've got to go, Fabian and I are grabbing dinner with Gideon," she said.

"Okay, have fun," Lily replied, grinning knowingly. "See you later."

Mary left and closed the door behind her, and Lily shut her eyes, tempted to just go to sleep then, even though it was shamefully early. But her stomach was growling, and reminding her that it had been far too long since she'd had a full meal. As Lily was contemplating what to order for dinner, she heard the door to the apartment slam, and she wonder what could have made the usually reserved Alice so upset.

"Lily!" James shouted through the apartment. It wasn't Alice who was agitated then. "Lily, you home?"

"Shh, the neighbors are going to hate you if you keep that up," Lily hissed, opening the door to her bedroom.

James practically, sprinted to join her, flopping dramatically onto her bed and offering her one of his patented charming smiles.

"So, you'll never guess -"

"Dumbledore sent you an invitation to join a secret society to fight Voldemort?" Lily interrupted, amused.

"I… yeah… how'd you…?" James stammered.

"All four of us got one too," Lily explained, chuckling lightly at James' sullen expression. "You gonna do it?"

"Hell yeah!" he exclaimed, his face lighting up at the thought.

"James," Lily scoffed, "I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but how exactly are you going to do that? You're the one that's been telling me that we can't get involved in this."

"I know I have, but Lils, it's a _secret_ organization, so it's perfect!" he insisted.

"I feel like you're banking on that a little too much," she replied.

"Are you trying to tell me not to do it?" James asked, sounding betrayed. "Because I thought we were on the same page about this."

"No!" Lily amended. "I want you to do this, _I _want to do this. But I just don't think you've fully thought through whether or not you _can_ do it. This is the hardest part about who you are, not being able to do what you want to do, you've told me that."

"I know, I know," he said, shaking his head. "I know I haven't really thought it through, but I'll figure it out, because Lils, I just know that I could never live with myself if I passed this opportunity up. This is one of those times when there is a right and a wrong and it's clear, and if you're not fighting for good, then you're wrong."

Mary's words from earlier and her uncertainty haunted Lily as she listened to her boyfriend speak. Two hours ago, she felt the same way, and thought of this war in terms of black and white, but now there were shades of grey starting to appear.

"I'm not sure it's that easy," she whispered, more to herself than to James.

But whether it was easy or not, Lily and James both knew what they wanted to do, without any doubts or hesitations. There was only one path for them, nothing else would do.

o . o . o

As darkness gathered on Tuesday night, Lily sat in her apartment, carefully applying concealment charms to James and herself. She knew they were going to a muggle neighborhood, that was part of the appeal of the location, but it was still imperative that nobody recognize them. She had changed the color of her hair to a dark brown, and her eyes to brown as well. With a simple charm, she had been able to plump her cheeks a bit and make her face a bit rounder. With a dark cloak over her clothes, she felt pretty confident in her disguise, but James was more of a challenge. He was so well known, and now that people were clued in to his 'alter ego', it was harder for him to go unnoticed. It was like the whole world was looking for him more than they ever had before. Tweaking his hair color wouldn't be enough, so Lily had spent time over the weekend researching glamour spells and concealment charms to keep him safe. She had settled on one that would play on the mind of the beholder, showing them someone they would most like to avoid. It was more or less a misdirection trick, one that could be overcome with effort, but it seemed like their best options. Their friends would be able to, with some concentration, break the spell and see James as he was, but passersby would be none the wiser.

As Lily finished her spellwork, she said a silent prayer that it would be good enough. She didn't think she would be able to live if she was the reason he got hurt. She draped a black cloak around his shoulders as well, an added layer of protection from prying eyes, and took a deep breath. There wasn't anything else to do but jump and see where this adventure would take them.

Fabian and Alice both joined them in the living room, ready to depart. Mary had stayed late at the hospital, and said she would meet them there if she decided to be a part of this. The four new graduates stepped out of the apartment and into the dark, dinghy street. Night had decidedly fallen, leaving London blanketed in a deep, velvety darkness. They walked two block north and one west, until they reached the alley that they always used to apparate. Fabian had set up a portkey using a tattered shirt, and as the four stood at the back of the alley, they each took hold of a piece of it. Lily clutched tight to the fabric, her fingers rubbing against the flannel. They waited for what seemed like ages until the garment began to emit a blue glow. Lily felt like she was being yanked forward by the belly button and squeezing her through a sausage stuffer. Just when she thought it would never end, the smell of salt water filled her senses and her feet slammed into the pavement. Her knees ached from the force of the impact, and she had to steady herself with a hand on the pavement for a moment before she could stand.

"Alright, I think we're just a few blocks away if I did this right," Fabian said, looking around and trying to make sense of their surroundings.

Stars speckled the dark sky so far from the city, but it did little to light the streets. There were no street signs or lit windows, just the sound of waves crashing against rocks a few blocks away. With their cloaks drawn close around them, they were indistinguishable from the night sky, walking towards their destination. The house they found at the address in question was small, with lavender walls and buttercream yellow shutters. Flowerboxes hung from all the window sills with brightly colored impatients blooming wildly. In short, it had Dumbledore written all over it.

James stepped forward and knocked on the door, and without hesitation it swung open. The foursome stepped into the foyer and immediately found a group of adults of varying ages sitting uncomfortably in the spacious sitting room. It was evident that an enlargement charm had been cast in the inside of the house.

Around the room sat a few people they knew from school - Gideon, Frank Longbottom, Edgar Bones, all of their friends - and a few older individuals. Lily recognized Caradoc Dearborn and Alastor Moody, but there were several others who she didn't know. A few more people filtered into the small house, including Mary, until finally it Dumbledore stood.

"Let's begin," he announced, casting his penetrating gaze around the room. "I believe it is customary to have introductory icebreakers at gatherings such as these, however there is some protection in anonymity. I will leave it up to you to get to know each other to the extent that you are comfortable."

His eyes fixed on James for a moment before fleeting around the rest of the group. Lily knew that this rule was largely for James' benefit, regardless of what Dumbledore said. The fewer people that knew that James fighting in the war covertly, the more likely it was that he'd be able to keep that information secret.

"You are all here," Dumbledore continued, "because the changes that have been taking hold of the wizarding world distress you all equally, because you think that it is morally reprehensible to consider one person superior to another solely because of their ancestry, and because you all want to fight to see the world restored to the light. It is not enough to stand by and hope that others will do the work for you, we all must roll up our sleeves and plunge our hands straight into this bubbling cauldron."

Apprehensive looks passed around the room, mixed with curiosity and determination. Lily felt a little bit nervous, but mostly she just felt ready to begin the fight.

"I'd like to give you all this opportunity to ask any questions you might have," Dumbledore continued, opening his arms wide in a welcoming gesture.

"What exactly are we going to be doing?" someone asked from the behind Lily.

"There are a whole manner of things that need to be done, and everyone will have their own role to play," Dumbledore answered. "We have Ministry employees, healers, aurors, teachers… each as important as the last. There are a number of ways in which we will have to combat our opponent. First, we will need as much intelligence as possible. It is important to know where Lord Voldemort plans to strike and when, as well as who fights for him, and where he is most vulnerable. There will be those of you who will work to make the public aware of all that is happening, and protect them from Voldemort's influence. And then there will of course be those who are on the front lines, dueling against the Death Eaters to save lives. It will not, at any point, be easy. But it will always be necessary."

Everyone in the room looked curiously at Dumbledore, his words clearly not giving them a much better picture of what this war would look like for them.

"I have some intelligence," Dumbledore sighed, "that Voldemort's followers are planning an attack in two days' time. I have chosen six of you to attempt to thwart this endeavor."

"Which six?" somebody asked.

"Where are they attacking?" another attendee burst out.

"Who goes on each mission will never be divulged to anyone who does not strictly need to know," Dumbledore answered, his blue eyes flashing. "Even I will not know the details of every mission. But I suggest we all pray to whatever god we believe in that as many missions as possible result in victories."

Lily looked over at her friends. She'd be praying for victories, but she would also be praying for as few casualties as possible.

o . o . o

James slunk through the London shadows, his invisibility cloak wrapped tightly around him. He'd had a fairly lengthy conversation with Dumbledore and McGonagall the night after the Order's information session, and they had settled on a role for him that they thought would be suitable for his skills and his restrictions. James would, in effect, be the sniper of the Order. He would stay low, out of sight, hidden, and try to covertly disarm Death Eaters before attacks even began.

Part of him hated it. He was a good dueler, and he wanted to be in the thick of every battle. He wanted Death Eaters to see his face before the fell, and know who brought them down. But James knew that he could only continue to be involved for as long as his involvement remained secret. He also knew that, despite her assurances that she wanted him to fight, Lily would be out of her mind with worry if he were constantly dueling. He didn't ever want her to be afraid that he wouldn't come home. So this was good, a good compromise.

He was headed toward a muggle hospital, where the Death Eaters were supposedly planning an attack that would mimic a gas explosion. Emmeline and Alice were trying to surreptitiously evacuate as many patients as possible, while Gideon and Dedalus Diggle tried to shore up the hospital's defenses. That left James with Alastor Moody, keeping watch over the entrances and initiating the fight should one arrive.

The light rain that was falling tapped quietly against against the cobblestones of the street, a soft sort of ambiance. James watched the street carefully from his perch two stories above, nestled in a window with the best vantage point. He was looking for anything out of the ordinary - shadows that didn't belong or a tiny bit of movement in his peripheral vision. Moody lay in wait below, a one-man barrier between the Death Eaters and the hospital entrance.

Just when James was starting to think that their information had been faulty, a dense fog began to filter through the street below, thick tendrils of it snaking into every nook and cranny. _Shit, _James thought to himself. How was he supposed to see anything now? He was debating whether or not to leave his post when he heard what sounded like a tin rubbish bin lid hitting the stones and a cat screeching loudly. He didn't know what that meant, but it decided matters for him. There was no way he was going to hide up in this building while Merlin knows what was going on down below. Besides, he still had the invisibility cloak, he would be fine.

James bolted down the stairs and into the foyer of the building, stopping short of the door. Pulling the invisibility cloak around his shoulders, he peered through the window of the door before opening it as little as possible and slipping through. He stayed nestled in the doorway, watching for some sign of the Death Eaters. There, floating through the fog were three darker shadows. James tightened his grip on his wand, carefully taking aim.

"Stupefy," he whispered, and a jet of red light streamed from his wand.

But the fog appeared to be more than just a visual distraction, it seemed to have some property that slowed down spells and eroded them as they traveled. He would never be able to do anything from his position. But he worried that the fog, whatever it was, would eat at the cloak's magic too. If it was everything his father had told him, though, it would hold up against anything.

James stepped out cautiously, keeping his wand raised in front of him. He could feel the air thicken as he pushed through the fog, trying to make his way to the Death Eaters that were still moving forward. And yet, he felt as though the fog had reached fingers into his mind, clouding his thoughts and making him feel dim-witted. _What the hell kind of fog is this?_ The closer he crept to the Death Eaters, the more clear the outlines became, but the more dense his mind felt.

_Impedimenta,_ James thought, directing his wand towards the Death Eaters and what he hoped was the fog's core. It began to lift slightly, and even though it wasn't completely gone, it was enough for James' mind to clear and for him to see the three Death Eaters, and Moody standing boldly in front of them. He heard the Death Eaters snarl wildly, but before any of them could get off a curse, Moody had sent one aimed at the Death Eater in the middle. James sent his own stunning spell at the Death Eater on his right, hitting him in one attempt, and the man crumpled to the ground. The final Death Eater standing whirled around, searching for James while trying to evade Moody. A feeling of victory washed over James, as the Death Eater turned to disapparate. In the split second before he disappeared, however, he hurled an object toward the hospital door. Flames exploded and climbed the stone facade of the building rapidly, eating through walls and floors and and expanding by the second.

"Fiendfyre!" Moody yelled over the roar of the flames, just as a hippogriff formed out of them, spiralling into the air and then plunging through a hospital window several stories higher. "You know the spell?"

"Yeah!" James confirmed, directing his wand toward the flaming hospital. "_Ignis vivens praefoco! Ignis vivens praefoco!"_

He kept chanting the spell, focusing his mind on the hospital and imagining it unburnt. Two sharp cracks told him that Gideon and Dedalus had apparated to their sides, and their voices joined his and Moody's in casting the spell. Minutes later, the heat from the blaze began to dissipate, and not long after that, the fire disappeared into plumes of smoke. They held the spell for a few moments longer to ensure that every last spark had been snuffed out.

James opened his eyes, looking at the remains of the hospital standing in front of him. Entire chunks of it had been consumed, crumbled and charred stone left behind. They could see into the hospital, see the damage that had been wreaked on the old building. James hoped that Emmeline and Alice had been fast enough in evacuating the patrons.

"We can't leave it like this," James protested, as Moody began to turn away.

"That spell is draining, and Merlin knows what that blasted fog did to us," Moody argued. "We need to get back to headquarters, get assessed. Another team will be sent to repair the damage and assess and Statute of Secrecy violations. That's how it works."

Even as he spoke, James felt what remained of his energy draining out of his body as if someone had pulled a plug. The adrenaline that had flooded his system was seeping away now, and he could tell he didn't have much time left before he would collapse from exhaustion.

"Get him home," Moody commanded to Gideon as James felt himself fading fast. "Lily will take care of him. Meet me back at headquarters."

Gideon nodded and wrapped his arm around James' torso, making sure he had a tight grip, before disapparating. The two men reappeared in the hallway outside Lily's apartment. Gideon started knocking frantically, looking around to make sure nobody was watching him. The door swung open to reveal an annoyed looking Lily, but her expression changed once she saw James. She immediately stepped aside, allowing them into the apartment.

"What happened?" she pressed, helping Gideon get James settled on their couch.

"Just a little overexerted, that's all," Gideon replied. "He just needs some rest and he'll be fine."

Lily nodded and saw Gideon out, before returning to the couch and taking a seat, lifting James' head into her lap and running her fingers through his hair.

"Hey Lils," he murmured, before his eyes drifted shut and he fell into a deep sleep.


	10. Chapter 9

A/N: _Aha, cheers to another chapter! I know it's been a while, but if you've been watching my activity on AO3 or FFnet, you know that I've been taking part in a few writing challenges, so my MCs have been getting a little less attention. But I have finally completed another chapter! This one was hard to write because it was really emotional, but it also felt important to the story. As I write, I keep deciding there are going to be more and more chapters, because there's more that needs to happen, so I guess the good news is that this story is nowhere close to ending. I'm relying on all of you for feedback and to let me know what you'd think of this story (and weigh in - do you want to see a happy ending, or lots of angst?)! So please please please, leave a review, I live for them! Okay folks, that's the end of my speech, so without further ado - Chapter 9! Enjoy!_

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o . o . o

* * *

Lily and James sat at an outdoor table of a little muggle cafe on the outskirts of London. It was a bit risky, sitting outside, anyone could see them, but they were in a pretty heavily muggle area. The odds that they would be spotted by anyone who really knew who they seemed pretty slim. It was exactly why James had chosen this particular quaint cafe for their date.

They were celebrating their first anniversary. For any eighteen-year old couple, it was a pretty significant milestone. But to Lily, it seemed oddly trivial. Given all that they had been through in the past year, and where they both knew their relationship stood, it felt like they had been together for far longer. Or at least that they had reached a level of seriousness that made first anniversaries seem silly and frivolous. And yet James insisted on marking the occasion. He promised no gifts, nothing over the top or crazy, just a simple night out, just the two of them.

It was nice, in a way, to feel like an ordinary couple for a night. No war hanging over their heads, no royal duties interfering, just two young adults having dinner together. The night was going wonderfully - they had a delicious dinner, talking entirely about trivial things, before walking back to Lily's apartment. It was about a mile, but it was a nice walk, through Clissold Park and Abney Park to Stamford Hill. The sun was going down, which made the walk even prettier than usual, but mostly they were just enjoying being able to stroll hand in hand on a warm autumn evening. The weather was only just starting to change, but the leaves had already begun to fall in a swirl of colour.

As they got closer to her apartment, Lily began to feel the hairs on the back of her neck prickling unpleasantly, and she had the distinct impression that they were being watched. James, however, had no such feeling, and pulled her into the little park on the end of her street. They sat down on one of the benches and Lily immediately snuggled up to James, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"This was really nice," she whispered, shaking off her misgivings for a moment to soak in how genuinely lovely their date had been. Between the Order and James' royal life, it was rare now that they got to feel like a normal couple.

"I'm glad you liked it," James answered, kissing the top of her head and then nuzzling his nose in her hair a bit, breathing in her scent deeply. One hand toyed with the locks of hair splayed out around her shoulder, while the other drifted across her thigh.

Lily revelled in the feeling for a moment before tipping her head to the side. He met her lips with his, breathing deeply as he leaned in to her. It was a lazy kiss, far from the heat and urgency that usually accompanied their rendezvous. Between James' duties, Lily's work schedule, and the Order missions, it felt like every time they got together lately was a rush. It wasn't bad, but they had both missed the intimacy of getting to take their time. Their hands roamed, exploring each other and mapping every inch of skin, dipping beneath fabric and teasing. Before long they were both breathing hard, flushed and wanting more. They needed to get back to Lily's apartment, very quickly. Lily stood, but James grabbed her hand and pulled her back down onto his lap, his hand grabbing tightly onto her backside.

"I can't get up right now," he whispered, kissing along her neck.

Lily gave him a confused look for a moment before she understood - and _felt_ \- what he meant. She laughed lightly, throwing her head back. James promptly dove in to the newly exposed skin at the base of her neck, making Lily gasp and tighten her fingers in his hair.

"James," she breathed, swatting at him and trying to laugh despite the heady want that was beginning to weigh her down again. "James, stop, this is not going to help anything."

With great difficulty, Lily managed to extract herself from his lap and stepped away, just out of James' reach.

"Come on," she teased, arching an eyebrow and crooking one finger at him with a wicked smile on her face.

With a vaguely predatory grin, James launched himself off the little bench and wrapped his arms around Lily, attacking her with kisses as she laughed and walking her backward through the park.

Lily wanted to get back to her apartment as fast as possible, and not just so that she and James could be less restrained in their anniversary celebrations. She was getting that niggling feeling in the back of her mind again that they were being watched. She couldn't shake it, and it made her deeply uncomfortable. No matter how much she looked around, she couldn't see anybody, but she _knew _something was amiss. There was someone there.

Lily fumbled with the keys to her apartment building while James continued to pepper her with kisses, and they stumbled through the door together once she had it open. Lily slammed it shut behind immediately, and her body was flooded with a tingling relief. James pressed her against the corridor wall, trailing his lips across her skin and sending electric thrills across every inch of her body.

"Let's go," she panted, "upstairs now."

o . o . o

Lily woke late in the morning and rushed to make it to work on time. She sped out of her apartment without glancing at the newspaper that was sitting on the dining table or stopping for coffee like she usually did. When she got to the hospital, it seemed like people were looking at her funny. It was like they were judging her, or like they'd found out a secret about her.

"Mary!" she hissed when she saw her friend in the hallway, and she grabbed at her arm. "What's going on? Why is everyone staring at me?"

"No one's staring at you," Mary insisted, but she wouldn't make eye contact, and Lily could see her cheeks turning pink. Alice was watching from behind her, fingers skimming over a patient's chart.

"Please don't lie to me," Lily pleaded, squeezing her friend's hand.

With a huff, Alice snatched something off a nearby nurse's desk and thrust it into Lily's hands. Lily turned the magazine over in her hands, her heart pounding, and she felt her stomach sink as she took in the cover. Several pictures of her - and James - were spread across it, along with the title "Working Girl", like she was prostitute and not a nurse. She felt anger boiling in her gut, and a ferocious pink tinge rising across her skin.

"What the _fuck _is _this_?" she spat.

"It gets worse," Mary winced, worry creeping across her features.

Lily flipped open the magazine to find an array of pictures from the night before, all somewhat compromising. Her sitting on James' lap with his hands on her ass and her thigh, pressing kisses into her neck. The two of them kissing in the park with wandering hands and a little too much urgency and a little too little space between them. And a picture of James pressing against her from behind as she fumbled with the keys to her apartment, his hands nowhere even remotely decent. The pictures horrified her, knowing how they looked and knowing that - given what they had done immediately after getting back to her apartment - they image they presented wasn't entirely inaccurate… she didn't know what was worse. But the idea of the entire wizarding world knowing far more about her sex life than she would like was positively mortifying.

She shut the magazine, hoping that it would erase some of the horror from her mind, but her eyes fixed on a new detail. _Lily Evans starts a new job at St Mungo's - her coworkers tell all!_ The words leapt out at her, a fresh horror.

"Who talked to Rita Skeeter?" she hissed, practically shaking with anger.

"I don't know," Mary said, tentatively reaching out, but Lily shifted away. "She only lists anonymous sources, but it's all vile, so to be honest she probably made it all up."

"It's bad?" Lily asked, feeling betrayed and hurt as well as angry. She really shouldn't have expected anything else - if people raved about what a good coworker she was, it wouldn't be much of a story - but she still felt blindsided. She thought everyone liked her. At the very least, she thought there wasn't anyone who disliked her. "What does it say?"

"It - it says…" Mary couldn't seem to bring herself to repeat the things that were written.

"It says that you're late all the time, that you bail out on shifts to sneak out with James, that you put your relationship ahead of patients," Alice said, sounding exasperated. "It's all lies, Lily, but if we stand here and keep talking about this stupid article instead of getting to work, then it won't be lies anymore, so get your ass moving."

Lily nodded and took a deep breath, trying to collect herself and ignore the stares of everyone around her. It was good practice for the rest of her life, she realized. This is what life with James would be like. An eternity of ignoring the way everyone else looked at her, of people hating her on the basis of made up rumours. So it was time to get used to it. Better now than later. She pulled her hair back and twisted into a knot, throwing the magazine in a rubbish bin in the process.

Lily desperately wanted the rest of her day to be normal. She needed it, really. But every time she managed to get the article's words out of her head, she would catch a patient staring at her, or one of the other nurses. She honestly didn't know which was worse. But when sweet old Mrs. Magelin asked her about her relationship and said she thought Lily would make a wonderful princess, as long as she could stay out of the newspapers, it took everything she had not to cry then and there.

By the time she left the hospital that night, the street outside of the hospital had turned into a photography studio. It was impossible to get in or out without triggering the sounds of snapping shutters and flashing lights. Lily ducked her head and powered through the crowd, ignoring the paparazzi jogging down the street to keep getting photos. She usually walked home from the hospital, but she only made it two blocks before deciding that it wasn't an option tonight, so she turned down an alley and quickly apparated to the foyer of her apartment building. It was strongly discouraged to apparate into or out of the inside of the building, but Lily felt sure that in this case, the landlord would make an exception. She sped up to her apartment and pulled the curtains closed immediately, glimpsing the crew of photographers waiting outside for her.

"Lily?" Fabian asked, poking his head out of the room he practically shared with Mary. "Are you okay?"

Lily couldn't answer, just collapsing on the couch in a heap of sobs. Fabian sat next to her on the couch, pulling her into a close hug. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the silver cloudiness of Fabian's Abraxan patronus. Barely twenty minutes later, James was at their door, immediately sliding into Fabian's place beside her and whispering soothing words as he stroked her hair until she fell asleep.

It became a daily thing, and Lily absolutely hated it. They were waiting for her, even the slightest glimpse of her, and there was little she could do to stop it. The photographers followed her around wherever they could, plagued by some sick need to get pictures of every single thing she did. It was like the country had become infatuated with her, intent on watching her during all hours of the day. Only it wasn't a good kind of infatuation - if such a thing existed. It was more like a desire to watch her try so hard and then fail. It was like the entire country was waiting with bated breath to see if James would decide she was not princess material and walk away.

Without fail, pictures of her graced the covers of newspapers and magazines at least once a week. Even more frequently, she was sure they were mixed in the inner pages, but she couldn't even stand to flip through anything anymore. Any time she and James did anything, it was front and center on every newsstand and in every supermarket. People wondered whether they would spend Christmas together, and then speculated on the status of their relationship when she was seen taking the train back to Cokeworth. When her birthday rolled around, James tried to take her out for a nice dinner to celebrate, but they were so mobbed that they ended up just going back to her apartment, and it was the worst birthday she'd had in probably her whole life. She felt like she was losing her grip on reality because she could barely read the headlines of the newspapers anymore, let alone any actual articles.

She didn't miss the whispering and the staring either. She knew that some of her colleagues didn't like her, or at least they didn't approve of a Muggleborn witch dating the future king, and she saw every time they exchanged significant looks with a patient. Looks that said _that's her, and isn't she unworthy_. Every day, she felt like she was suffocating in disapproval. She tried everything she could to relieve some pressure, even letting Marlene take her out for a night of getting absolutely trashed and dancing with anyone she met because according to Marlene, she needed to remember who she was for a night and forget about being this person who was in a relationship with a prince. She needed to be just a regular nineteen year old for a little while.

But the next day, Lily picked up the morning's edition of the Daily Prophet, only to find a photograph of herself plastered across the front, taking up nearly the entire page. As wizarding photos were wont to do, it moved, a disturbing cycle of a car door opening, and Lily twisting to get out, unintentionally flashing her knickers as she moved, all the while her face bore the expression of a deer in headlights. She nearly vomited on the floor of the hallway as she read the title.

LOVELY LILY DISPLAYS A LOVE OF LACE

She remembered the moment vaguely, as they arrived at the third club of the night. Lily had been fairly drunk already, and it showed in the picture. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright and unfocused. She remembered feeling shocked that the paparazzi had found them, and wondering how they knew where to look for her. But then Marlene had ushered her into the club, forced two shots into her hands, and then pulled her out onto the dance floor, and Lily had forgotten all about it.

There was a knock on the apartment door and Lily crossed the apartment to open it. It must have been the cab driver, she mused to herself as she walked. He must have tipped off the press as to where he was taking them, he'd put the window up, they never would have known. Lily opened the door to find James standing there, concern written across his face.

"I saw the papers this morning, are you okay?" he asked immediately, pushing his way into the apartment.

Lily rubbed her head and snatched up the hangover potion that Mary had left on the counter of the kitchenette.

"Okay, I know you're probably not okay, but like, on a scale of 1 to 10…?" he continued, looking at her wearily.

Suddenly, something inside Lily snapped. Maybe the hangover potion was working quickly, or maybe she was waking up more fully, or maybe what happened was really setting in. It didn't matter, but Lily felt anger welling up within her.

"I can't take this anymore, James!" Lily shouted, losing all grasp on her temper. "It's too much! Being followed all the time, and photographed in my knickers… merlin, what is everyone's preoccupation with seeing me in my pants?"

"Well I quite enjoy - "

Lily flashed him a look that told him it was most definitely not the time for a joke, and if he finished that sentence he would be in a great deal of trouble.

"Lily, I'm sorry, I really am," James said sincerely, reaching out to place his hands on her arms. "I don't know what you want me to do to fix it though. I don't have control over them."

She sat down on the bed, dropping her face into her palms as she struggled to hold back the tears. In all the conversations they had had about their relationship, they had never really talked about this. Sure, they had talked about having less privacy, but mostly as it pertained to parenthood. And even when they had discussed the issue regarding just themselves, they never talked about it like this. This was different, this wasn't just chipping away at her privacy, this was malicious invasion. The entirety of the journalistic world _wanted_ her to fail, and they wanted to catch it on camera when she did. It was positively draining.

"James, I don't know if I can do this," Lily sighed, pressing the heels of her hands into her brows.

"What does that mean?" he asked quietly, stepping back.

"I don't know, James, I don't know what it means, but this is exhausting," she said, close to tears. "I just don't think I can live my life like this."

"Lily, this is what my life is like, this is how it works," James said, a sense of betrayal flooding him.

"No, James, it's not," she said, lifting her head to look at him. "Your life is the media loving you, and praising everything that you do, not them trying to get pictures of you flashing your knickers. They love you, okay? They love you, and they hate me, and that's it. That's all there is to it, and I don't know if I can deal with that for the rest of my life."

"They won't hate you forever," James insisted. "They just don't know you, and they don't know if you're just some fling or my future wife, and while it doesn't excuse the way they're treating you, it's just because they don't know what to make of you right now. But eventually we'll get married and things will be better, I promise. Once you start doing public engagements and the press gets a better sense of who you are, things will be better."

"So you're saying I just have to live with it until we're married and they decide on a whim that they like me," Lily hissed, annoyed by his lack of initiative. How could he be alright with this treatment? Didn't he care about the toll it was taking on her?

"I don't know what you want me to do, Lily," James huffed, starting to get impatient.

"Anything!" she yelled. "Anything would be better than just telling me to deal with it for god knows how long!"

"The only thing I can do is marry you!" he burst. "Do you want me to marry you, 'cause I will, Lily, I'll marry you today if it'll make things better, I swear."

"Don't be ridiculous," Lily said, casting his suggestion off without a second thought.

"I'm not," James insisted. "We decided a while ago that this is what we were going to do, so really waiting is just a formality, so if it'll make things better for you, then let's just take the next step, okay?"

"No." She leaned away from his, trying to read his expression and seeing the desperation that was written plainly across his features. "James, that's not the right reason to get married. We can't take the next step just because it might relieve some of the pressure, that's not right."

"Okay," James agreed, but Lily thought she saw a flash of disappointment. "I don't know what else I can do though."

"I know," Lily sighed. "We'll figure something out."

o . o . o

James stormed into his father's office, the heavy double doors slowly slamming shut behind him. The King barely looked up from his desk as James strode purposefully across the ornate carpet, smacking his hands down on the desk's mahogany surface.

"You have to do something," James demanded.

"And what exactly is it that I must do?" the King replied, not entirely engaged in what his son was saying.

"About Lily and the press, you have to do something to stop them from hounding her," James explained.

"There's nothing I can do, son, I'm sorry," King Fleamont said, finally looking up at James.

"That's not true!" James burst. "They leave us alone, for the most part. They don't camp outside the Palace or follow us every minute of the day."

"We're not mysterious to them."

"I know it's not just that Papa," James said, shaking his head. "I _know_ its more than that, we have rules and barriers and there's a line that they know not to cross, and I want that for her."

King Fleamont sighed heavily. "We do have certain protections from the media, an agreement set in place, if you will. But we can't extend it to Lily, she's not a member of the Royal Family. We can't just start making anyone we want to off limits."

"But they aren't like this with our other friends or anyone else," James groaned.

"She's something novel for them, James," his father replied. "They don't know anything about her or your relationship or how serious the two of you are. The people are curious, but eventually that will abate."

"They're tormenting her, Papa, it's a nightmare."

"I'll think on it," the King conceded. "I'll see if there's anything we can do to help her out, but James… I wouldn't have high hopes if I were you that anything will change unless you decide to meet her at the altar."

James swept out of his father's office, making his way back to his own rooms. But once he was there, he realized he felt suffocated by the plush velvet and the ornate tapestries. It was all too much, too decadent and lavish, and he couldn't take it. He had to get out, get away, be just a regular person for a change. He pulled on his Muggle clothing, grabbing a soft beanie and his glasses and darting out of the Palace. There were a few secret tunnels - all guarded - that would lead him into London, and then he could apparate wherever he wanted to go.

For a moment, he was lost in all the possibilities, without any concept of where he wanted to be. He roamed through the park for a little while, and then ambled down some side streets, stopping into a Muggle pub for a beer - or three. But ultimately, he apparated to the little foyer of Lily's apartment building (they had gotten permission from the landlord for the two of them to do that whenever needed weeks earlier). He needed to be in her arms. Most of all, he needed not to think for a little while.

Alice opened the door for him, and he gave her a cursory hello while making a beeline for Lily's room, just barely knocking before he let himself in. She was curled up in her bed with a book, looking somber but at least not crying. He desperately needed her not to be upset tonight. He stood at the end of her bed, half wanting to jump in with her, but also feeling too antsy to lie down. Lily scooted to the edge of the bed as she looked at him carefully, and then stood and reached out to touch his cheek.

"James, what -?" she began to ask, obviously confused and a little bit worried, but he cut off her question with a kiss, desperate and sloppy.

Lily dropped her book to the floor, reaching her hands up around James' neck and burying her hands in his hair. Apparently she needed not to think as much as he did. His fingers slipped under her top and lifted the silk fabric over her head, only pulling away from her long enough for the garment to clear her face. Lily immediately drew her hands down to his chest, fingers working swiftly at the buttons of his shirt. James' hands found their way to her ass, grabbing hold and pulling her hips tightly against his so she could feel every inch of him. He nipped at her jawline and her neck, savouring the little gasps they elicited from Lily as he walked her backward until her spine met the wall, and she stripped them both down to their underwear in the process. Lily hitched one leg up against James' hip and he ran his over the creamy skin of her thigh, and it was all the invitation he needed to discard what little remained of their clothing.

In the morning, James kissed Lily on the forehead and scribbled a note before letting himself out of the apartment. It was still dark outside, but he was scheduled to be at an important lunchtime meeting, and he would need time to get back to the Palace and prepare.

Breakfast was laid out on the dining table in his apartment as soon as he walked in, and an owl had clearly already delivered the morning paper. James sat down and assembled a full breakfast of toast and beans and bacon and even a few bangers on the side. The perfect fuel for a long and likely dull day. Only when he was set with coffee and tucking into his breakfast did he pull the newspaper over.

James stared at the newspaper in horror. This was his worst nightmare. It was everything he had been brought up to avoid. Scandals were the death of the monarchy; if he lost the respect of his people, he lost everything. They would see this and think he was some kind of depraved lunatic, or a cuckold, or… he didn't want to keep thinking about that. And Lily - she must be mortified. To have her personal life, not to mention her body, laid out so publicly and immortally must be horrifying for her. And she had already been upset with the level of invasion she had been suffering. He wondered if this would be the thing that triggered her to walk away from all of it, from him. He had to have a plan ready before he talked to her, something he knew he could pull off to help her. James snatched up a quill and parchment and began to scribble out a statement.

_Prince James and Miss Lily Evans kindly request that their privacy be respected as individuals. While the Prince understands that, as a member of the Royal Family, he is a public figure and attracts a great deal of curiosity and attention. Miss Evans, however, is a private citizen, and deserves the same level of respect, courtesy, and dignity as every other citizen. We ask that everyone abide by the follow guidelines:_

_Please do not loiter outside Miss Evans' apartment or workplace in the hopes of seeing and/or photographing her._

_Please note that any sources publishing dematatory stories about Miss Evans will face legal action._

_Please be conscious of the toll that commentary on Miss Evans' body, fashion choices, and in any way about her physical person, take on her mental wellbeing._

_Prince James and Miss Evans will strive to include the public in their relationship to the extent that they feel it proper, following both prior protocols and precedents as well as their own wishes and beliefs. The Royal Family feels confident that this will be satisfactory for the public, and asks all our citizens to offer this young couple support and privacy._

_Thank you._

_Queen Euphemia & King Fleamont_

Without hesitation, James marched through his apartment and over to his father's office, not bothering to knock before pushing the door open. He slapped both the newspaper and the parchment down on the desk. The King raised an eyebrow at his son, wordlessly inviting an explanation.

"This is what I want you to say," James stated boldly, his hand still resting on the parchment as he leaned over the desk. "This is the statement I want you to release."

"You're sure?" King Fleamont asked, after reading it over quickly.

James nodded. He had never been more sure of anything.

"It may not help," the King replied. "It might make things worse."

"It might," James admitted, understanding that there was a very real possibility that his efforts would backfire. "But I can't do nothing anymore, so it's better than that."

"Okay."

The King flicked his wand at the statement, and it rolled into a coil, zipping its own way down the hall to the media office. From there, James knew, it would be presented in due course, with all royal announcements.

"James," the King said, fixing his son with a stern expression over the top of his reading glasses, "scandals like this cannot happen, you know that. Your mother will want to talk to you over dinner. For now, I would advise you to go talk to Miss Evans and make sure she's alright with this. You'll have a few hours before the announcement is made public."

James nodded and let himself out. This would work, it _had _to work.


	11. Chapter 10

_**A/N:** Welcome back! This chapter went in a completely different direction than I initially thought it would, but it just kind of seemed to want to write itself this way. It's a little emotional and I think I should give you all a head's up that this chapter does deal with sexual assault. If you're not comfortable reading that, I'll include a summary of important points from this chapter in the AN of the next one so you can keep reading without missing anything. With that, enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

o . o . o

* * *

In the weeks since Whitefire Palace had made it's announcement, Lily's situation had improved somewhat. Articles still came out every now and then, but they had less fodder to them than they had before. At most, it was commentary on her outfits, or stories that were so blatantly false they were almost laughable. She was able to put it all aside and continue with her life as usual. James had taken the liberty of having her added to the Come and Go list at the Palace, so they had taken to spending their nights together in James' apartments instead of at Lily's shared home. She had been so traumatized by the article that she found it hard to relax in her own apartment, but they both felt more secure at the Palace.

But work was becoming more intense for both of them, and between that and their Order missions, their time together was quickly becoming limited to catching a few hours of sleep between late nights and early mornings. Often James would crawl into bed long after Lily had gone to sleep, and she would have to rise with the sun. They seemed to keep missing each other, and it was rapidly becoming frustrating for both of them.

"I've got to go away for a little bit," James said, stroking her hair lightly. It was Lily's first day off in weeks, and they were enjoying a little bit of time cuddling together before James had to get ready to attend some stuffy lunch.

"Away? Where?" Lily asked, twisting a little to look at him.

"To Italy, for a diplomatic visit with Sirius," he answered. "And then I think Remus and Peter are going to meet us after to have a bit of a lads' weekend on one of the islands."

"Really?" she pressed, skeptical. She knew all too well the kinds of things Sirius had gotten up to in school, and she could only imagine what he would do with an unsupervised weekend thousands of miles away.

"Don't worry, Lily, you know I'm yours," James soothed, pressing a kiss to the worry lines between her brows. Though they dissipated slightly, her anxieties were still there, twisting into tight knots in her gut.

"It's not really that," she said, frowning. "It's just…" She shook her head and bit back her words, not wanting to start a fight.

"Lily, what?" he encouraged. "You can tell me anything."

"It's just that, well, we haven't had much time together lately, and I just feel a bit…" She struggled to find the right words, and restarted her thoughts. "You don't have any time to spend with me, but you can clear an entire weekend to party with Sirius, Remus, and Peter."

"Lily it's not like that," he insisted, clearly upset by her words.

"No?"

"No," James stated defiantly. He was starting to feel very defensive. "Any why shouldn't I have fun with my friends? You don't have a monopoly over me, Lily."

"That's not what I meant," Lily backtracked, taken aback by his statement.

"You don't get first dibs on my time," he barrelled on, riled up at that point. "My friends aren't just some random people who get me whenever you've cast me off or when you've decided you're too busy. We've been friends for a long time, and they deserve some of my attention too."

"I never said they didn't," Lily replied, her face warming as she felt tears starting to form. She knew she hadn't done anything wrong, and his words should have been making her angry, but she simply couldn't find it in her. She just felt sad. It felt like they were diving off a cliff, the beginning of the end.

"Besides, I'm only nineteen," he continued without any sign that he'd heard her. "I should be allowed to party and have fun still. Just because I'm in a relationship, doesn't mean I've died."

"That's not all you want," Lily hissed, finally finding the anger. "Because if you really just wanted to party, then we could go out in London, or you could've asked me to go with you. I like a party as much as anyone, and you know it would've been fun with me too. But you don't want to party with your girlfriend, because then you wouldn't have girls fawning over you and offering you anything you want and sucking up to you. You want the attention, you want everyone in the world hitting on you, and if I'm there, I'll spoil that, but Sirius will probably be trying to convince you that you should shag some random girl because it's not cheating if it's a different country or because we fought or if you only go so far, or maybe he'll just say that none of it matters because you're royalty and everybody knows that comes with the lifestyle."

"Lily, I would never -" James tried to interrupt, suddenly looking stricken, but Lily was already on the verge of tears and she didn't want him to see her cry this time, not when she couldn't stand the sight of him.

"Whatever, have fun on your trip," she said, with a final huff, striding from the apartment and slamming the door shut behind her.

She almost wished he would come running after her, tell her he wouldn't go, that clearly it bothered her and he cared about that more than some stupid lads' weekend. But he didn't, and it felt like a slap across her face.

o . o . o

James had several reasons for his trip to Italy. He was on a diplomatic mission on behalf of the crown, it was true, but it was all but a secret that he had volunteered to go on the trip instead of his parents. On Corsica, there was a renowned jewelry-maker, who was able to create little galaxies inside his gemstones. The lad's weekend was really just a cover to give him reason to be on the little island, should he be spotted. And it was true that he hadn't spent much time with his friends lately, so he really would enjoy it.

Of course, once Dumbledore had gotten wind of his trip, he'd tacked on another mission of his own. James was tasked with sniffing out possible international recruits and allies. Dumbledore was worried that Voldemort was beginning to extend his influence outside of Great Britain. It was going to add a few extra days onto his trip, he would be away for a little over a week in total.

James hated leaving Lily, especially after the fight they'd had. He wished that he could clear the air with her before he left at the very least, but their schedules just didn't sync up. He looked around wistfully before stepping into the spacious limo, half hoping Lily would show up to say goodbye. But she didn't, so he simply sighed and climbed into the vehicle to prepare for his flight.

The limo was the pride and joy of the Royal Family's fleet. It had started out with the idea of a flying carpet, being outfitted and upgraded over time. Now, it was completely state of the art, with all the most advanced magical enchantments on it. Inside, the limo was as spacious as a private jet, with a stocked kitchenette, a full closet, and even a small bedroom for particularly long (or late) flights. From the outside, it had an array of concealment charms. When driving on the ground, it would appear as any ordinary limo to onlookers, little British flags flying from the front to identify it as a diplomatic envoy. But when flying, the vehicle would take on the guise of an owl, perfect for flying anywhere needed without arousing suspicion. It was a really magnificent little vehicle.

The trip itself was short and uneventful, but the moment they landed on the ground, their schedule was packed. James and Sirius stepped out of the limo to cheers from the gathered onlookers, and were greeted by the Italian Foreign Minister. They did a quick walk about, saying hello to the fans who had waited to see them, before being ushered inside to begin their day of meetings.

Five full days of meetings and engagements at charitable institutions. Touring hospitals and orphanages and schools all around the country. It was dull, especially since James only understood half of what was being said - honestly, it was shocking that they couldn't find better translators - and Sirius was getting restless. At night, they took a few surreptitious meetings on behalf of Dumbledore, but they weren't making as much progress and he had hoped. They spent another two days speaking with prominent members of the wizarding families, and though they were diplomatic in their responses, James wasn't feeling optimistic that it would come to anything. The Italian wizards seemed to think that the situation couldn't possibly be as dire as they were making it sound, and offered little support. The Minister himself, James was sure, was a lost cause, and he barely even bothered with any of his recruitment arguments.

And throughout the whole thing, James kept thinking about Lily. He felt awful about the way they'd parted, and he wanted so desperately to be able to talk to her. He made a mental note to give her something along the lines of his and Sirius' two way mirrors, so that they wouldn't be in this situation again. Although she probably would've smashed it after that fight. He just wanted to be with her again, and apologize for the way this was done. And ideally hear her apologize for snapping at him. Only two more days.

o . o . o

James wished he could say that he'd been careful, that he'd been mindful of Lily's words and her feelings and he'd kept the drinking to a minimum and made sure he didn't do anything that could possibly be misconstrued. He wished he could say even one of those things. But James was an absolute idiot, so he couldn't.

He had known, when Sirius said that he found a party on a private yacht and scored invites for all of them, that it was a bad idea. Yacht parties meant too much fancy alcohol and girls in bikinis and paparazzi taking blurry pictures that made it look like anything was happening - especially things that were most definitely _not _happening.

He had known, when he saw the girl staring at him from across the boat with eyes like a lioness hunting her prey, that he should be careful. He knew what that look meant, and he knew he should stop drinking so he could stay alert. And yet somehow he still accepted the next drink Sirius thrust at him, and the one after that, and then another still.

Everything became a fog, and the rocking of the boat did nothing to help his balance. He needed to find somewhere to sit down, or lie down, but he couldn't for the life of him think where that might be. And then she was there, standing right in front of him in the doorway, with her amber eyes fixed on him boldly. She was pretty, but her eyes were the wrong color, and so was her hair. She was all wheat-coloured, not shades of Christmas. He needed to find green eyes.

"Dove stai andando?" she asked, a question that James did not even begin to comprehend, but her voice had a buttery quality to it, like silk sheets over smooth skin.

James frowned at her, but she simply smiled, leaning her shoulders back against the frame of the door so that her hips were still angled toward him. She curled her fingers around the waistband of his swim trunks, but James stepped away quickly.

"I… I need to sit down," he said, excusing himself and staggering backward. He wanted to get away from her, and he definitely did not want to walk past her to the bedroom he knew was hidden away somewhere.

He turned and walked across the deck as well as his legs could carry him, fulling aware that he was teetering and careening with each hasty step. Finally, he found an empty pool chair, and he collapsed into it. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes. _Merlin it felt good to sit._ Now that his eyes were closed, he couldn't seem to open them. He must have fallen asleep because he was having a great dream.

In his dream, he must not have fought with Lily, he must have asked her to come with them. Or maybe she simply decided to surprise him. But she wasn't mad at him. She was straddling his hips, grinding down on him, her breasts tantalizingly close to his face, he could feel it. If they weren't at a party, her bikini top would be off so that his lips could find every inch of skin unimpeded. His hands found her backside, a bare expanse of smooth skin. If he was quick, he could probably move aside the little scrap of fabric that was between them and nobody would be any the wiser.

Except Dream Lily didn't smell right. His Lily always smelled like flowers and vanilla and a little bit like antiseptic, even when they were at the beach. But Dream Lily smelled like sun tan lotion and alcohol and something like licorice, which was just all wrong. And then she was disappearing, being yanked away from him, and James could hear shouting and he tried to open his eyes. They felt so heavy.

"Get the hell away from him," he heard Remus snarl, and he knew that it wasn't a Dream Remus because his mind could never nail the feral nature Remus' voice took on when he was furious. "C'mon James, we're leaving now."

Remus's hands were around James' ribs, yanking him up to a standing position, and he felt someone smaller slip underneath his shoulder on the other side. Peter, probably. With a _pop _and a quick jerk, they were moving, squeezing through space, and then they hit the floor in their hotel hard. James vomited where he stood, heaving. Alcohol and Apparition were not a good combination.

"Let's get to bed, mate," Remus sighed, and he and Peter helped James to the bedroom, and then he was well and truly asleep.

o . o . o

James awoke with his head pounding and a vague memory of what happened the night before. He felt swamped in regret - he'd but such an idiot. He scrambled from the bed and emerged into the little common area of their shared suite, Remus sitting at the table sipping on coffee while Peter scrambled what looked like at least two dozen eggs.

"Morning," James groaned, sinking into the seat next to Remus. His friend slid the coffee pot across the table, allowing James to fill the empty mug in front of him.

"Eggs, beans and toast are all on the way," Peter announced loudly, and James winced at the volume. "Sorry. In a bit of pain?"

"Not as much as you deserve I reckon," Remus snorted, tossing a set of newspapers across the table at James.

The text winked and flickered for a moment as the papers tried to find the right language for James, before finally settling on English. He wished they'd remained unintelligible though. In reality, the titles weren't even relevant, it was the pictures that were damning. That blasted girl with a seductive grin and her hand sneaking under his trunks. Her sitting on top of him, her fingers in his hair as his hands caressed her backside. James felt like vomiting again as he looked at them, and he threw them aside.

"She's gonna see those, you know," Remus admonished. "You're a right ass."

"I know," James answered sullenly. "She's going to leave me for this."

"Frankly, I think she's going to murder you for it, but yeah, either way, I don't think you'll be together anymore," Remus said. He clearly had little sympathy for his friend.

"You know that it wasn't… that I didn't want to…?" James struggled to find the right words for what had happened to him the night before.

"Of course I know that not of it was bloody consensual!" he exclaimed, frustrated. "Why do you think I got you out of there so damn fast? But James, you put yourself in this situation, and that is what is hard to forgive."

"I -" James began, a little bit outraged by his friend's stance.

"Oh not the position to be assaulted, nobody ever gets themselves into that," Remus sighed exasperatedly. "But you knew that people would take pictures and there might even be paparazzi. You knew that anyone was just dying to snap a photo of you talking to another girl just a little bit too close. You were mad at Lily and you wanted to hurt her, so you got drunk anyway and got yourself in a situation that you knew would almost certainly result in pictures like this."

"You think I wanted to hurt Lily?" James asked, more than a little bit shocked by the statement. "I just bought her a damn engagement ring!"

"James, we know you as well as anyone, and you have a temper on you," Peter chimed in, placing the breakfast plates on the table. "Besides, loving someone doesn't mean you'll never get mad at them."

James chewed on his eggs as he thought over his friends' words. Perhaps they were right and he'd been angry. Maybe it had made him stupid.

"Where's Sirius?" he asked. "It's time to go home."

o . o . o

James was sullen throughout their journey home, trying to decide what he could possibly say to Lily so she would understand and hopefully forgive him. He hated himself for screwing this up, and would give anything not to have gone to the party. As soon as they arrived in London, James hopped into the shower. Somehow, he didn't think it would help his case if he still smelled like vodka and vomit. He left for Lily's apartment as soon as he was dressed again. Lily was probably at work, but he would simply wait until she got home.

There was no one at the apartment when James arrived, and though he could easily let himself in, he felt like it would be an intrusion in this case. Lily deserved the opportunity to deny him entry if it's what she wanted. He sank to the floor and rested his elbows on his knees, tapping his feet on the ground anxiously.

Almost two hours passed before James heard the sound of footsteps in the hallway, and he straightened up. Lily rounded the corner and he immediately scrambled to his feet, quickly brushing his hair back in his typical nervous habit.

"Lily, can we talk?" he asked, trying not to get his hopes up.

She ignored him, walking straight past him with a hardened expression and unlocking the door to her apartment. But she didn't shut the door again behind her, and James took that as an invitation. He stepped cautiously into the little apartment, softly shutting the door and hovering by the entrance, waiting.

"I know I fucked up," he said after a long moment.

She did say anything, but Lily reached into her bag, pulling out two newspapers and throwing them on the kitchen counter with an aggressive slap. James cringed at the sound and wished he could crawl into a hole as he saw the headlines.

LILY LEFT BEHIND

EVANS ELIMINATED IN THE RACE FOR PRINCESS

"You could have at least told me," she spat, pulling out a glass from the cabinet and filling it with water. There was venom in her words, but James was almost positive that she had turned away so that he couldn't see her cry.

"It's not what it looks like," he said, cursing the words for their cliche, and she scoffed. "I swear on Merlin's wand, Lily, please just hear me out."

"Well this ought to be fun," she huffed, sitting down on the sofa with her arms crossed and anger boiling like a potion in her eyes.

"Look," James began, taking a deep breath, "I fucked up, Lily, I know I did. I shouldn't have gone to the party with the guys, and I definitely shouldn't have been drinking. There's no denying it. But I didn't do _that_."

"So what? The pictures are doctored?" LIly asked, her eyebrows flying up in skepticism.

"No, they're real, but I…" James paused, his expression pleading with Lily even as she was shaking her head and turning away. "Lily the first picture, I was feeling dizzy, and I was trying to find a place to sit down for a bit, and I wanted you, and she came up to me, and… I don't even know what she said, but she reached out and then I excused myself. We spoke for maybe thirty seconds, that's it."

Lily stood there, still looking angry, but she hadn't shoved him out of the apartment yet, so he knew he still had a few minutes to explain, or at least try to.

"I don't really know what happened in the second photo, Lily," he continued, sighing and running his hand through his hair as he stared down at the ground with furrowed brows. "I remember finding the chair and collapsing in it, and then I think I fell asleep. I remember dreaming of you, but it felt weird, like something was off. And then Remus was shouting and waking me and carting me off to the hotel. And I know it looks bad, but I swear on Merlin's hat that I didn't want any of it, I didn't even know…"

"James…" Lily replied, her expression softening a bit. "James, that's _assault_."

"I… yeah, I guess it is," he answered, trying not to think about it too hard. "Honestly, Lily, I haven't thought about it except for how badly I've fucked this all up, and I'm sorry. I don't think I can tell you enough, but I really am."

"It's okay," she said, reaching out to push his hair back from his forehead.

"I und - what?"

"It's okay," she repeated. "I understand that it wasn't something you did intentionally, or even wanted. But are you okay?"

"I don't know," James answered honestly. "I really haven't thought about it like that."

"I think… look, obviously this is pretty emotional for both of us," Lily reasoned, "and I think we should try to maybe stay out of the public eye for a bit until everything is cooled down a bit."

"Right, yeah," he agreed, emotions other than panic and regret starting to sink in for the first time.

"Come on, let's just go sit down for a bit," Lily suggested, tugging on his arm for a moment.

They curled up together on the sofa, trying to remind themselves that everything was alright. Lily felt exhausted from the rollercoaster of emotions that she had been on throughout the week. She wouldn't be surprised if it took a week's worth of sleep to recover. Meanwhile James had only just begun to process what had happened during the trip, and he was more than a little overwhelmed.

"Hey Lils?" he said, trying to turn his mind to something happier.

"Mmm?" she hummed, content where she was with her head resting on his shoulder.

"What if we went on a vacation together?" James asked nervously. "I wanted to ask you before I left, but then we fought and things got so mucked up. But we could go anywhere you wanted - to the Caribbean, or to the Sahara, or wherever. Some time for just the two of us."

"That'd be nice," Lily agreed, smiling. She hoped she would dream of luxurious vacations and desperately needed time away from work, rather than worrying about the nightmare they'd been going through for the past few weeks. Things would start to look up, they had to, she was sure of it.


	12. Chapter 11

_**A/N:** Okay so it took me a while to get through this chapter, but I think you'll like it! For anyone who didn't read the last chapter, a brief summary: Lily and James have a fight when he tells her that he has to go away for business. They don't have the opportunity to make up before he leaves, and while he's gone, James goes to a yacht party with Sirius, Remus, and Peter. He gets extremely drunk and is sexually assaulted by a woman at the party. A photographer catches it on camera, and the newspaper publish it as James having an affair. He explains what happened to Lily, and she ultimately forgives him, and they decide to go on a vacation together so they can have some time to themselves. And that's where we pick up. Enjoy!_

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o . o . o

* * *

Lily stood on the balcony, looking out into the canopy of trees. Their little cottage was nestled among the branches, completely private, and the two nearest cottages had been booked by James' security wizards. They had the place to themselves, but there was no doubt of their safety. Lily was looking forward to some time away from the pressures of work and the strain of being in the spotlight of royalty. Every time she imagined the media attacks being the rest of her life, she felt sick, but then she thought about James. He was the reason she would put up with it, and she knew she could take just about anything for him. Still, it was nice to have a break.

A hot breeze lifted the hem of her white linen shirt and sent the ends of her hair flying into the air. It was more than a little hot in Kodagu, and insanely humid, but the scenery more than made up for any discomfort of the temperature. It was the tail end of monsoon season, and the forest was lush green and alive. Bright flowers bloomed in every open space and the sound of hundreds of exotic animals echoed happily. The forest was positively teeming with life.

James snuck up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling his nose against the nape of her neck. Lily smiled lazily, leaning back against his chest. This kind of easy living was tantalizing.

"Sickle for your thoughts?" he whispered, kissing her skin softly.

"I was just thinking about how happy I am that we're taking this time to ourselves," she murmured, still listening to the sounds of the birds chirping in the trees. "Getting away for a bit. It's nice."

"I'm definitely glad that we've got some privacy," he agreed, his hand drifting across her belly and teasing her skin. "No cameras, no press, no newspapers to worry about."

"James Potter, not another word about the media this entire trip, is that clear?" Lily said, putting on her most commanding voice.

"Yes ma'am," he replied, his hand slipping beneath her shirt as he continued to kiss her neck and shoulder lightly.

"Ew, don't ever call me 'ma'am'," she laughed, dropping her head back against his shoulder. "Completely kills the mood."

"You sure about that?" James challenged, and Lily knew without seeing that he had one eyebrow raised as if to ask if she was daring him.

Without another word, James began kissing her in earnest, sucking at her pulse where it quickened beneath his touch. He shifted one hand to her chest, massaging her softly, while the other pulled her hips closer to his.

o . o . o

"Come on," she said, tugging at his arm as James tried to make himself as heavy as possible against the soft mattress. "I don't want to spend the entire vacation in bed, as delightful as that might be. There's so much to see."

"Can't we at least spend one day lounging in bed?" he whined in response, adamantly refusing to get up.

"Maybe, but why not make it a day when it's raining, rather than today," Lily reasoned. "Come on James, let's go to that elephant sanctuary. We only need to give them an hour's notice for a private tour."

"How about a compromise?" James suggested, tangling his fingers with Lily's. "Go let them know that we'll be there in an hour and a half, and then come back to bed with me for a bit in the meantime."

"You're insatiable," she laughed, dancing away to phone the sanctuary.

"Just trying to make up for lost time!" he called out after her. He chose not to share that he wanted as much reassurance as he could get that she wasn't upset with him, and that she was the only woman who was ever going to lay her hands on him again.

If James was honest with himself, the incident in Corsica weighed on him quite heavily. He did his best to erase it from his mind, but sometimes in the dark he still felt a stranger's hands on him instead of Lily's and in his dreams her face morphed into others, much to his horror. In those moments, James would bury his nose in her hair and breathe in her sweet scent to reassure himself that she was still by his side.

Lily returned to the bed, her hair falling in a curtain as she lay down on her side, head propped up on her elbow. She looked at James with an intense scrutiny, reading every microexpression and muscle twitch.

"James, are you okay?" she asked, her face scrunching into an expression of concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he insisted. "Why?"

"You just seem a little out of sorts, and we haven't really talked about what happened…"

"I don't want to talk about that, Lily," he said, shaking his head adamantly.

"I know, but we need to, at some point," Lily pressed. "Not just about what happened to you, we need to talk about our fight too. It was a big deal, James, and we can't just sweep it under the rug and pretend like it never happened."

James closed his eyes against the flood of emotions, his skin tingling from the stress of it. It was overwhelming, the itch that crawled over him and the mere thought of the events that had transpired.

"Okay, but I need some time to…" he paused, struggling to find the right words to convey what he needed. "I just need to be prepared, I can't just launch into it."

"Why don't we talk at the sanctuary?" Lily suggested. "It'll help to have something around as a distraction."

James nodded, although he wasn't sure how much he agreed with her assessment. Personally, he didn't think anything would be able to distract him from the trauma of what happened, but he would give it a try for her.

Lily snuggled into his side for about ten minutes, but her excitement made her restless, and she soon bounced up again, heading to the bathroom to brush her hair and put on a little bit of makeup. She pulled on some loose jeans and a linen shirt, and then returned to the bedroom, sitting down on James' side of the bed and taking his hand.

"Does it help if I promise you that I'm not angry, and nothing you tell me is going to make me get mad at you?" she asked, trying to soothe his mind. She took one free hand and pushed it through his hair, the humidity making the curls particularly unruly.

James nodded a little, trying to use her words to ease the knot in his stomach.

"Come on, get some clothes on and we'll take our time getting over there," Lily said, tugging on his hand lightly.

James obediently sat up and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her cheek gently before he pushed the covers aside to stand and get dressed.

When they finally got to the elephant sanctuary, they took their time exploring with a guide, walking through the jungle. Along the way, they learned all about the sanctuary's conservation efforts and the care they put in for the elephants. After a half hour walk, they reached the watering hole, and Lily gasped at the sight. Twelve elephants, including three large tuskers and two babies, were scattered across the little lake, playing in the mud, drinking or spouting water over their backs. Sanctuary staff attended to a few of them, brushing their skin and checking them for wounds and fungus.

It was the biggest risk to the elephants living on the sanctuary. Without the entire jungle to roam, territory was scarce, and that meant competition between the tuskers could get quite intense. With the sanctuary maintaining the water supply, the elephants also had more consistent access to bathing, and were at risk of developing fungus in areas of their bodies that could potentially stay wet in between baths. It was important for staff to monitor the elephants frequently to make sure they stayed healthy.

"They're so beautiful," Lily mused, wading into the muddy water and reaching out to the nearest elephant.

It blinked at her with its large eyes, a palpable sense of wisdom in them, and reached out it's trunk to her. Gently, Lily took it in her hand, brushing her fingers over the thick skin. James joined her, cautiously stepping up to her side and reaching out his own hand. The bristles on the elephant's trunk tickled his palm, and it snorted and snuffed against his hand. James smiled at the sensation, suddenly very glad that Lily had insisted they do this.

They spent nearly an hour playing and learning among the elephants at the watering hole, allowing themselves to become drenched in the muddy water. One of the tuskers wandered off into the jungle, and soon a few other elephants began to follow, growing tired of the water, or possibly just hungry. When only three of the female elephants remained, their guide waved them over.

"Do you wish to ride them?" he asked, waving his hand in the direction of the elephants. "It will allow us to see more of the sanctuary than the walking paths."

"Is it safe for them?" Lily asked, concerned for the gentle giants.

"We are careful not to make a habit of it," he smiled. "It is a special privilege reserved for favoured guests only."

For a brief moment, Lily was uncomfortable with the offer, but she quickly tucked that feeling away. It was an incredible opportunity, and an experience she had long dreamt of. Lily nodded on behalf of both of them, a brilliant smile lighting up her face.

The guide led the three elephants over to a short wall, and helped James and Lily climb up before mounting one himself.

"Tahal lo!" the guide commanded once the three of them were all settled, and immediately the elephants began to walk forward.

They moved at a slow, lumbering pace into the trees, the music of birds and other jungle wildlife filling the air. Golden light filtered through the trees as the sun began to dip in the air. Lily and James both drank in their surroundings for several minutes, enjoying the stroll through the jungle.

"It's hard to think about what happened in Corsica," James announced suddenly as he stared at Lily's back. Somehow it was easier without her staring at him.

She twisted to see him as much as she could, but he just waved to signal that it was okay for her not to be looking at him.

"I don't really know how I feel about what actually happened," he continued, letting his eyes wander over the tree canopy. "But I know that the way it was portrayed, the way it looks to anyone outside our relationship… it's disgusting, and I hate that people think I'm like that. That anyone could ever think I would cheat on you makes me feel sick. And I know that I hurt you and I hate that."

"You didn't, James," Lily replied, shaking her head. "It wasn't your fault."

"I made choices that put me in that position, Lily, I bear some responsibility for it," he insisted. "I shouldn't have gone to the party, I shouldn't have gotten so drunk."

"Everyone should be able to go to a party without worrying about being assaulted," she said, glancing over her shoulder at him. "Even princes."

James was quiet for several minutes, just listening to the echo of the birds. Part of him recognized that she was right, but it did nothing to shake the shame and guilt that overwhelmed him.

"I think that you should see a therapist when we get home," Lily said.

James shook his head before remembering that Lily couldn't see him.

"How could I ever trust someone not to sell anything I said?"

"It's illegal for starters," she pointed out. "But we can look until we find someone you're comfortable with, and there may even be spells to ensure confidentiality. I can look into that. But James, this was a real traumatic experience, and you should let a professional help guide you through this."

"We can look for someone," James conceded.

They were quiet again, with that matter somewhat settled, taking a moment to digest. They had ventured deep into the jungle now, and large, soft leaves brushed against them with every step the lumbering elephants took.

"James, about our fight," Lily began after several long minutes. "I'm sorry. I overreacted, but I just… I felt… I had been feeling like I wasn't a priority for you anymore. Royal duties came first, and then the Order, and then the boys, and I just didn't know where my place in your life was anymore. We used to be partners, but we stopped talking about anything that mattered and we just… it's like I was only there to be someone you held while you slept, and I was no better than a stuffed animal."

"I'm sorry that you felt that way," James replied, his brows furrowing as he considered her words and what they really meant. He hated that she'd felt that way, but he knew he had a right to make his feelings heard too. "It wasn't just me though. You were busy at work, and you were distant after the article. I know it was hard for you, but it wasn't like I was the only one who pulled away."

"I know," she admitted, her gaze fixed ahead of her.

The elephants were making their way toward a gap on the trees, and through it they could see a clearing.

"Lily, I think it's been a problem that we're not sharing our lives," James said, anxiety spiking. "You can't take part in my royal duties, we can't share details about our Order missions, you get a nightmare schedule at work. We're living two different lives that have so many restrictions, we can't merge them. I think we should get married."

"James," Lily sighed, twisting to stare at him with furrowed brows. "Marriage shouldn't be a solution to a problem. Not least of all because marriage is complicated and comes with its own problems, especially for us. It should be about loving someone and wanting them by your side through everything and wanting to make them happy and… You haven't really thought about this James, it's a big thing."

They burst through the tree line to a wide clearing at the top of a sloping grassy hill, with a canopy of trees below them. Neither of them had realized how high they'd climbed, but from this vantage point they could see for miles. The sun was beginning to set, and the sky above the trees was glowing an electric pink and orange. It was a truly amazing sight to behold. Lily's elephant came to a stop, throwing its trunk in the air, and James' elephant meandered around until it was standing next to hers, both looking out over the hill.

"You're wrong, I have thought about it," James said, trying to smile through his nerves. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the little box he'd been given by the Corsican jeweler. He opened it and held it out to Lily so she could see the little opalline galaxy. "I want all those things you just said, Lils. I don't want to get married because I think merging our lives will solve our problems, I want to get married because I love you and I want to share my life with you. I want you by my side at royal engagements and I want you to help me make the world a better place with diplomacy. I want to be able to talk to you about what happens on Order missions so we can support each other. I want to come home to you every night and hold you and kiss you and dream about our future together."

"You really have thought about this?" Lily whispered, completely awestruck.

"So much Lily, and I want to be your husband more than anything else," he replied. "Please, will you marry me?"

"Yes, I will _absolutely_ marry you," Lily answered, grinning from ear to ear.

She reached out and took James' hand, squeezing it tightly as they looked out into the sunset and the darkening canopy of trees. Knowing how much thought James had put into this moment helped tuck any qualms about her importance to him deep into the recesses of her mind. She knew James better than anyone, and she knew that he wouldn't sincerely ask her to marry him if she weren't the most important thing in the world to him.


End file.
